What A Wonderful World!

Meet My Valentine...

2012-02-14T09:00:00.002-07:00

To all those who seem to be confused by the prolonged nature if my singleness: I feel the need to assure you that I do interact with men.

In fact, I will tell my latest love story. Last fall I was riding the bus in good old Provo and a man got on. Yes a real live man. He came and sat across the aisle. The man started chatting with the guy in front of me, but it was obvious he was just too nervous to talk to me directly. Finally he got up the courage and conversation sparked between us. He then proceeded to tell me his life story and how he was throwing a benefit concert for the Children's Hospital. I didn't believe him but I went along with it. Then he handed me this:I asked who the performer was and he said it was him! Check out this hunk!

So I knew from the start, he was different. Match made in heaven?

I think yes! He may have been 45, homeless, crazy, and had a voice that sounded like the cookie monster, but it was love at first sight. Why would I want a boyfriend when I can have interactions like this!? I hope my mom approves!

I'm A Big Kid Now

2012-02-13T21:00:00.001-07:00

Last week I did something that I have been too terrified to do thus far in my life.

I went out to dinner.

By myself.
On a Friday night.
At a sit down restaurant.

With a waiter.

And people at other tables.
But not at mine.
It was a proud moment.

I won't lie, it was uncomfortable. But I played it cool. Like a classy girl in a cafe who enjoys just hanging out with herself. I did use my journal as a buffer though. I sat and wrote like a mad woman. I think the waiter was more uncomfortable with it than I was. He kept coming up to me while I was eating just to chat. I think so I wouldn't be lonely. But I was perfectly content to just sit and enjoy my time. Shame attack! I'm a grown up. Next up, going dancing alone. It might be a while before I get that much gumption though.

My Dreams

2012-02-06T13:25:00.002-07:00

Things are rolling.

Oakcrest is going great! We start interviewing the staff tomorrow. It is hard to keep my excitement under control. I cannot wait to spend my summer in my home away from home.

School is school. I'm just finishing up, but it's hard to find motivation when I'm so close to the end! But let's be honest, it was hard to be motivated at the beginning because you have to first get used to things, then in the middle there's the half way lull, and now I'm near the end. So really, I've done no actual work for the past two years. But somehow I've made it through. My explanation:
Fairies.

Now to the new big dreams I have.
I want to go to Israel. Jerusalem specifically. I want to see and walk in the places I've only read about and seen pictures.
The problem. I can't find anyone with the time or money to go. I want to go in May before Oakcrest starts. I could go by myself, but being a young girl, I'd rather not get kidnapped or killed. Thus, I opt to use the buddy system when traveling out of the country. So,
Do you want to go to Israel? You should come. With me. In May. Or if you know anyone who could or would go, let's be friends.

The Little Things

2012-01-13T11:59:00.002-07:00

Yesterday at Panda Express while I stood in line, the man behind me stood VERY close to me. Then I heard a very faint humming sound. He began to sing ever so softly which was directly in my ear because of his chosen close proximity. Almost like he was purposely serenading me. Let's ignore the creepy nature of this and just acknowledge... Tender!

Changed My Life

2012-01-04T22:02:00.001-07:00

My sister introduced me to this over break. I just showed it to my roommates a few hours ago. We may have the dance memorized already. Eat your heart out.

Some Days

2011-12-22T19:42:00.003-07:00

Some days are just the pits. It happens.

Today I got some news that made my night the pits. My perfectly laid life plan might have a pretty big detour. I still have yet to hear the official word though, so we'll see.

It's times like these when we get to remember, sometimes our hearts are broken because they're not big enough to hold all the wonderful things a loving Heavenly Father has to give us. He has to break our hearts to make some extra room for bigger and better things.

My cup still runneth over. It might be running over with tears right now, but either way it still is full to the brim.

Oh the Excitement!

2011-11-15T12:27:00.003-07:00

Dear everyone that I know and love,

Something has happened. Something big.
If you have ever heard the word Oakcrest come from my lips you know that it is an LDS girls' camp and a place that I love with all of my heart. Well friends,

I'm going to Oakcrest!!!!!!!!!!!

(again)

I worked there summer of 2010 as a counselor and am now going to be one of the Assistant Directors for 2012. I am SO excited, if you can't tell. When I got the call I may have been speaking relatively calmly, but little did the person on the other line know that my body was jumping up and down and dancing around my apartment.

And, so as not to reveal the identity of the director if she does not want to be revealed, I just want to say this: When I walked into interviews and saw who the director for 2012 is, I literally teared up with happiness and excitement. I am so blessed to serve in the directorship with someone who I look up to, and consider one of my very best friends from Oakcrest. She is amazing. This is going to be great. I don't know the other 2 members of the directorship yet, but judging by facebook stalking, I think its going to be a fantastic 9 months between now and the end of camp.

This is going to be a summer of miracles.

And after that, I'm going on a mission. MY LIFE!! My smile couldn't be bigger.

Love,
Goldielocks (Yep I get to be Goldielocks again! Woot!)

Ok, Are You Ready?

2011-11-08T20:28:00.002-07:00

I'm ready... the decision is:

I'm going on a mission!!!!

In my church we have these things called missions. If you serve a mission, and you're a girl you go somewhere in the world and teach about the gospel for 18 months. At age 21 this becomes an option for girls if we want it. And I do. And it feels right. So I'm doing it!

So there you have it. Next summer I turn 21 and I'll put in my availability date for shortly thereafter. It's happening. Get ready for it.

Also, I got my response from Teach for America today. REJECTION! Just another confirmation that I'm making the right decision. And, PhD application deadlines are coming up. Naturally, I'm not applying because, I'm going on a mission. So, once those deadlines pass, I will officially have no other options for next year. Except get a job. And we all know that is NOT going to happen :)
Therefore, not applying to PhD programs is me fully committing myself to serving a mission. Happy future :)

And the Verdict Is....

2011-11-04T15:00:00.000-06:00

Remember how I was trying to apply to and decide between all of the amazing things I could next fall? Well...

A decision has been made.

And it feels great.

And I'm surprised. But I'm excited.

Stay tuned for the decision. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for the big reveal yet. But if you are someone I see or talk to during a normal week, I've probably already told you. We all know how I'm awesome at keeping other people's secret but awful at keeping my own. But, I don't think I'm ready for an announcement yet. I am still waiting for it to sink in with me.

There is so much love in my life right now. In the words of Edwin McCain and later Sara Evans: I could not ask for more.

Happy Happy

2011-11-03T18:38:00.000-06:00

When I went on a road trip to California over the summer we took tons of snacks of course. One of these snacks were cookies. At one point I pulled out a cookie and this is what I saw:In the most unlikely places.

Halloween Time

2011-10-31T18:04:00.000-06:00

This is what we do in my apartment when we have a broken chair and spare time. Look how cute these guys are!

It's Alive!

2011-10-28T17:16:00.000-06:00

I have a terrible problem keeping plants alive. BUT I have had this one for almost a year! I wanted to share this glorious accomplishment with you. It's alive! It might not be completely happy as you might see from the leaves, but it is alive and that is all that matters. Woot!

Tender

2011-10-26T13:00:00.000-06:00

The other day my roommate and I went running. We stopped by a duck pond along the route. There was one duck all on its lonesome that wasn't in the water. I decided to approach. He ran. So, I started talking to him from afar and laying on heavy the compliments. It let me get close enough to ALMOST touch it. So close!

Then my roommate and I had to depart. I said my farewells and started to walk away. The duck followed. I stopped. It stopped. I ran, it ran. I think I made too deep of a friendship too quick. Life lesson anyone? But, now I have a friend I can visit, but I have to make sure it doesn't follow me home next time.
I love ducks. The end.

SO much LIFE!

2011-10-22T16:30:00.003-06:00

Life is SO good I can't even describe it. But I'll try

First off, my apartment is fantastic. The girls I'm living with this year are great. We are all so different but mesh wonderfully. In the two months since school started we have already laughed together, cried together, laughed together, laughed together (yep, we laugh that much) and they have helped me through some of the most painful growing experience I've had. I can't rave about these girls enough. To give you a picture (literally).Yep. That's us (minus one).

I AM GRADUATING IN LESS THAN 7 MONTHS!!! WHAT?!?!

I wanted to come to BYU for such a long time, and now its almost over. Granted I have 7ish months left. But its weird to think that all of this will be gone soon. But, I am grateful for my talent to sink my roots in deep even if it is only for a little while.
It seems like 2 years is "my time." When I left home I spent 2 years in Portsmouth, and now 2 years here. My next stop will also probably be around 2 years. But we'll see!

And oh what to see! I applied to Teach for America!!! I had an interview last week. I find out November 8th if I got in, and if I did get in, where I will be assigned to teach. Scary? Yes. Also, I'm applying to go to Ukraine next fall with my dear friend Giggles. And depending on what happens with Teach for America, I might be applying to PhD programs soon. Ah!!!! My future is here! Where I will be next fall? I have no clue. But I am excited for a new adventure.

And boys (insert giggle). Who ever actually knows what is happening in their own love life? Your guess is as good as mine. But, I like boys :)

I am bursting with gratitude, excitement, anticipation, nervousness, and joy.
My heart is full, and my cup runneth over.

Hey hey!

2011-09-11T23:12:00.001-06:00

It's been a while. Honestly, I haven't had much to write. My life has been full of therapy stuff and personal growth. And I brag about my awesomeness enough that it feels inappropriate to brag about the times I'm becoming even more awesome. But, we'll talk soon.

In the meantime, I've discovered some new blogs lately that I really like. For a laugh click here.
To see some hopes and dreams click here.
Have a nice laugh.

My Day

2011-07-31T18:47:00.011-06:00

Thursday was my day. Actually beginning Wednesday night through Friday was my 2 days.

In case you haven't heard. I had a birthday. That's right. I can no longer claim I am a teenager in grad school. I just lost 10 notches of my coolness factor.

The celebration began Wednesday night. I get home from work and my apartment door is locked. I know some of my roommates were home so a red flag goes up. I put my key in, turn, and nothing happens. I take my key out, try again, and nothing. Then, all of a sudden the door FLINGS open and my head gets covered with a blanket! I am thrown into a car and told not to ask questions, or my sister Mallory Maloney will get it (my roommates really like my sister's married name). So we drive around for a while, and my kidnappers take a few wrong turns, get a few phone calls, and then the car stops. I am taken out and led into a building where I hear dishes clinking and people talking. The hands are taken from my eyes and I see my roommates and few of our close friends at IHOP.

I have the best roommates.

The next day (Thursday, my actual birthday) I stayed in bed til noon. What a luxury. When I got home from work the PARTY began. I had a cake with sparklers on it, we made a beautiful work of art, got COVERED in paint, and ran around the neighborhood until we found sprinklers to run through. Then, we topped it all off with a birthday cake that looked like a hot air balloon! Cool? I think yes. Here is the eye witness account: Then Friday rolled around and it was time to see my family!!! Or at least 4 members of it.

And we ran through sprinklers, And built castles,
And read books, And took a ride on the polar express, And played the day away.
Best birthday week, ever.

TFA

2011-06-13T16:17:00.009-06:00

Most of you who know me know that I believe in Teach for America with all my heart. If you don't know what Teach for America is, go here. Today I found out that as of the 2011-2012 school year TFA will have an Appalachian region. I'M SO EXCITED!!!! Reasons? These:

1. I love Teach for America

2. I love Appalachia

3. Appalachia has areas of intense poverty and TFA is needed there greatly

4. When my sister lived in Portsmouth (outskirts of Appalachia) she fell in love with the cause of saving the children.

5. When I moved to Portsmouth, I caught the bug and too developed a deep desire to save the Appalachian children.

6. When I worked for juvenile court, that desire intensified even more.

TFA is going to save the children of the Appalachian area one child at a time! I'm so excited for even the few children they will reach to be given the knowledge and skills they need to improve their lives and know that they don't have to live in poverty forever. Most of all, I'm excited for the Appalachian children to know they're worth it.

Teach for America is one of the things on my after graduation possibilities list. That and a mission are at the very top of the list. And I could go back to Appalachia and help in the work that I love so much. But, if the big man upstairs has something else in store for me, or has a different TFA region I need to be in, I'm just happy to know they are in the region I love with the children I love.

Pathetic? Oh Well. I'll Spill My Guts Anyways

2011-06-12T02:31:00.003-06:00

I rarely talk about my love life on here. Partly because I think my blog is already giddy-little-girlish enough without talking about boys. But the other part is because there's not much to talk about and I don't want to sound pathetic.

But here's my idea. If I publicize the extent of my patheticness and the far reachingness of my creeperism, it makes both of those things ok. Right? :) Well, correct or not, you're about to read my story.

So I've never really liked a boy that didn't like me back. (I know, I've been lucky, or just conservative with my crushes). This was true until three months ago. Then the rejection began. Don't worry. There was no awkwardness. Just the realization that he doesn't know how AWESOME I am.

Since then, it's been weird. I found out, via facebook (hence the creeperism listed above) and a couple close friends that 1 of my ex-boyfriends is getting married, and 2 are moving in that direction very very quickly. Really? All 3 of these guys wanted to marry me at some point, but for one reason or another things didn't work out and now they all want to marry someone else. Honestly, its normal and that's the way life happens, but it stings a little. And I'm willing to admit that.

I think there's something inside of all of us, that no matter how long its been since we were with someone, there's this need to say "Hey, my life is awesome. And you're not a part of it." Something in us wants to show that we're good without them. We wish them the best, but secretly hope that when we run into them we will be able to say things about our lives that will make them think for a minute. What's that you say? You don't think these things. Oh. Me neither. (Head down in embarrassment).

So I have a confession. You know Miranda who is really independent and has a hard time really letting people in because of it? You know Miranda that loves being single and free? You know Miranda that wants to travel the world, and save the children, and do tons of amazing things? Well, Miranda also has developed a secret desire. I'm embarrassed to say it, but here it is: I think I actually want a relationship and even to get married someday. I don't know why I'm embarrassed. Getting married has always been a part of my plan eventually. Maybe my feminist roots have just dug down too deep.

So there you have it folks, my deepest darkest secret. I want a relationship. And I like a boy. Those words are like vinegar on the tongue, but they're true. I hate that I want this because I feel like I'm turning my back on the things I could do (even though I know being a mom is the best thing I could possibly do). But on a larger, and more shallow scale, I hate it because its typical. And I hate being typical.

So until I have this relationship that I not-so-secretly anymore would like to have, I plan to continue living my single and carefree life (except for the whole grad school and therapist thing).

Shame, you just got attacked! Take that!

Shame Attack!!!

2011-06-12T02:30:00.000-06:00

So my old roommate and I are really into these things called shame attacks. Basically, we all have things in life that we are all afraid to do because we fear it will bring embarrassment, awkwardness, disapproval, and feelings of shame. So, to do a shame attack, you participate in the very action which would bring about these feelings. Thus, after doing the action, you learn that not its not as bad as you thought, or it is as bad as you thought, but now you know you can do it. And then you can yell "Shame you just got attacked! Take that!"

I LOVE SHAME ATTACKS.

A couple weeks ago I told a boy I liked him as a shame attack. It was fun.

But here's the deal. The reason why I explain the concept of shame attacks is because, I'm going to use my blog as an opportunity for shame attacks. I'm going to talk about things that I usually would be too afraid to talk about. Get ready to hear some embarrassing stuff. Its gonna be great. And by the end of the summer, hopefully I'll be next to shameless. Like old people in the locker room at the gym. No shame. Let me tell you.

Going Home

2011-06-05T17:53:00.004-06:00

Going back to Oakcrest is like going home. Something about it just reminds me of who I really am and who I can be. I just love that place. And I love the people I served and served with while I was there. We had lots of fun on our hike after friends and family night, and we may have gotten lost. It was great. Once again we experienced Oakcrest miracles, and we were only there a few hours.

As soon as I saw last years staff members I started to cry. And a few of them cried when they saw me. It made me happy. I just can't explain the love I feel surrounding Oakcrest!

Here are some pictures from the adventure:

Best Decision Ever

2011-05-31T18:13:00.003-06:00

So I am officially moved. And I am quite pleased with my decision. Ok, Ok. Do you want to know what I really think? I'M IN LOVE!!!!!!! But not with a boy. My roommates are great. My complex and ward are great and I'm great. It's wonderful. There have been people hanging out at our place every night since I moved in, my roommates and me stay up late talking (yes sometimes about boys) and there are constantly people in my complex out doing things that you can just join in with. Thus, I am all smiles.

And congrats to me, I reduced my stuff and gave away 3 trash bags to DI. It is a proud day for Miranda.

This is how I currently feel:

My Excitement

2011-05-26T08:00:00.000-06:00

Do you remember what I was doing a year ago?

That's right, I was experiencing the best summer of my life at the happiest place on Earth called Oakcrest Girls' Camp.

Guess what June 3rd is. Friends and family night! And last year's staff has a camp out planned for that night. I cannot wait! I'm so excited to see the people I love so much and who I served and taught with. Not that I know, but I would venture to say, this is better than a mission reunion. We get to have a camp fire and stay up late giggling and playing just like the old days. Some days I miss Oakcrest so much it hurts. And literally, I think about it everyday. And I get to have a little taste of it again soon and walk around the grounds that I love so much! Thank you family and friends night!

That Time of Life

2011-05-23T11:43:00.002-06:00

This time of life is one of change and growth and excitement. Amidst all of that, comes friends leaving on missions, returning from missions, and getting married and having babies.

It's so weird to see on facebook (of course my source for all social information) that at least 15 people I knew from high school already have kids, and at least 10 are married or engaged. My guy friends are coming home from their missions, and my girl friends are preparing to leave.

Since the end of Oakcrest last summer, 2 of the staff have gotten engaged or married, and 3 of them are leaving for missions in the fall. CRAZY! Its weird to see all of the stuff I've planned for happening around me! I still have a year to wait before my mission plans might come to life (depending on what life has in store for me), but my friends are already doing it. I love it. I'm so excited for all of them. I can't believe we are already here. Woot!

P.S. One of my professors helped in developing this relationship readiness scale for single people. When I took it last night, it said I block myself from really connecting with people (meaning potential romantic partners) because I'm not willing to give up my independence to commit to a relationship. Hehe. Sound about right?

On the Road Again

2011-05-21T15:06:00.004-06:00

I'm moving. Again. It seems 8 months is my max in staying in one place. This time it bumped down to 6 months.

So do you remember my biggest reason for coming to BYU for grad school? Well, to refresh your memory, I was so excited to be immature and have fun and be the goofball that has always been inside of me, that was shamed every time it got out. So, when I moved here, instead of doing the things I came here to do, I got into "grad school mode." Being in grad school, and being a therapist made me think for some reason I had to live the "mature" life with quiet, studious roommates, my own room, covered parking, and all the other "perks" you get being "old and mature." I think one of the reasons I chose to live in the past 2 places I've lived is because I was afraid of people who know me in an academic and professional setting, judging me and thinking that living like an undergrad means I'm not serious about what I'm doing.

So about a month ago I thought, WHY? Why do I have to live like an old person? I came to BYU to do something that I haven't been doing. So, better late than never! I'm moving into an apartment with 5 other girls (2 in my room with me), 2 bathrooms, and 1 fridge. The ward will just be my building. And I plan to party it up!

Yes, I am a grad student. Yes, I am a therapist. Yes, I will be teaching a class at BYU in the fall (have I mentioned that yet? SO EXCITING). Yes, I live a life that by all means requires maturity and discipline. But guess what else? I ALSO AM 19 (almost 20)!!!! And its about time I be 19 with people who also want to be 19, and live a home life that consists of silliness and goofiness, and every part of me I have repressed for the past year. I'm stoked.

And in terms of the judgement of others, all the people I have told have responded opposite from what I expected. Usually I get a "It's about time." Only one person has been judgemental, but that's ok, some people just don't value being a kid as much as I do. And there's nothing wrong with that.

So here I go. Into the land of the undergrads! I'll have to give up some luxury. Like a washer and dryer, fridge space, assigned covered parking, and tons of storage space. But hey, I get to learn to use a laundry mat, scrape my windows (except I have remote start--Spoiled, yes), and become a space maximizer/minimalist.
My stuff is what is causing most of my anxiety. I'm going to have to part with a lot of things that I've held onto for a long while. I can get over my greed!!! Its only stuff! I can do this. Does anyone have the number for hoarders anonymous?

The Chinese Disease

2011-05-15T22:09:00.003-06:00

My sister went to China a few years ago and when she came back, she had what she termed "the Chinese Disease." This consists of her stomach grumbling all the time, very loudly. Not out of hunger. Just out of talkativeness.
I caught it. That, added to the random body jerks (Tourette), I've been getting some pretty weird looks.

Hi tummy. I know you want attention, but I'm talking to someone right now. Please quiet down and we can play later.

Flying Time

2011-05-14T15:04:00.004-06:00

Today my dear friend Bethany moved away. She going to the desert of Arizona. She was the first roommate I had when I moved to Provo a year ago, and we've been friends ever since.

From sleep overs in the living room,

To amazing birthday surprises,

To hundreds of late night outings.

We've had some fun.

Bethany's departure has triggered some reflection on my part. I moved to Provo a year ago, and a year from now, I'll probably be gone. Weird. It's already half way over. How did that happen? 1 year. That's it. That's all I have left. That's nothing! So here's to another year in Provo, and what it will bring. Hopefully it's lots of happiness and sunshine and FUN!

Falling in a River

2011-05-09T19:53:00.010-06:00

Yep. I changed things again. I think it better represents the happiness that is oozing out of my heart.

Look at this little duck. He just makes me feel so happy. Have you ever felt like him before? Nervous because you're about to dunk under the water, but excited to try something new. Hesitant to step into the unknown, but with a desire to step into your element. Surprised that the moment of truth came so quickly, but calm that the moment is finally here. Terrified you won't get it right, but with a reassuring voice saying you will.

And then you just jump.

Or the current pulls you in. Either way.

I feel like this everyday to some extent. And I love it. Each day is full of new things, and old for that matter, that are scary but exciting. And sometimes I fail, but some how I always stay afloat and keep kicking my feet. And I make it. And its great.

Sometimes I think, "How on Earth did I get here"? And then I remember the current that has pushed me along, getting me down the stream. Oh, life. How joyous and random and confusing you are. Thanks for the ride.

P.S. Today, I finally found the Pandora station MADE for ME. Dixie Chicks. Don't judge me.

Nooks and Crannies Stick with Us Forever

2011-04-27T00:18:00.002-06:00

Today I pulled down my tool box from my closet to get some nails for my roommate. The chair I stood on to reach the toolbox was needed elsewhere so I climbed back up and replaced the toolbox while my roommate still had my nails. When she returned the nails, the toolbox was all the way at the top of my closet and I didn't want to bring the chair back in, so my solution: Throw the box up with a curve so it can get over the ledge and land in the toolbox. I try, I fail. I try, I fail. I try a third time. Again, I fail. However, the third time, instead of the failure consisting of the box landing on the floor or me catching it, the failure consisted of the box OPENING and hundreds of nail raining down on my face. It was awesome.

I began to pick up the nails that landed on the floor. When I looked up I saw some shiny things resting on top of and in between the items of clothing hanging in the closet. So I shook out what I could and picked them up. Then I thought, "I wonder how many nails are still in the nooks and crannies of my clothing. In the folds, the wrinkles and otherwise." Then I thought, "Oh well, when I wear the clothes or move to another apartment they'll get pulled out." Then I thought, "Some of these clothes I may never wear again (let's be honest, we all have a large amount of clothes we never wear) and when I move I just grab full sections of clothes and pile them in the car, they never get separated." So then I thought, "I wonder how many of the nails that are stuck there now, will stay in the crevices of my clothing for years without me knowing it." Then I thought, "I wonder how many things this could apply to. Nails, crumbs, lint, strings, hairs, or anything else our clothing, bedding, books, backpacks or anything else might acquire in the nooks and crannies." We never notice them but we may take them across the country with us, and have them for very long periods of time.

So here's to the nails which may be with me for years to come. I wonder what you've got in your nooks and crannies.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2011-04-19T11:01:00.002-06:00

In case you haven't heard:

MALLORY GOT MARRIED!

Last week was the wedding and reception and Mal and her hubby are already back in Idaho. My big sister is now a wife and I must find a new partner in crime. We are happy to have another Jeff in the family. Welcome my new brother-in-law. I hope you know you just inherited a little-sister-moocher. You've been warned. :)

At the wedding I was humorously made aware that I am the only single one left. We did a sibling picture with the brides family and all was dandy. My brother, two sisters and I all smiled happily.
Then they added the sibling spouses. As one by one the spouses came, I was pushed farther and farther to the side until I wound up on the end all by myself, behind one of my bros-in-law. Of course everyone giggled and they pulled me towards the middle so I didn't look so pitiful on the end. And in the background I heard my brother singing "One of these things is not like the others."

Maybe this should have made me feel bad because of the lack of romantic love in my life. But all I could think was "Suckers! You have to be adults! I still get to do whatever I want!" Not the most meek thing but, being the only single sibling remaining, has kindled the vagabond spark in me. I know eventually someday I'll get married and have a family, and be really happy doing it. But seeing my siblings and many of my good friends take on lifestyles where they now are accountable to spouses and children makes me want to live up my single days! And travel the world and do humanitarian service, and just be free!

As of last Wednesday I am the last original Goldie Girl. There are two current Goldie Girls (my wonderful sister-in-law and me), but of the original 3, I'm the only one left. And for some reason, this gives me the overwhelming desire to RUN from men and be a free free Goldie. And keep the last name that matches my hair so well. Oh, I just never want to grow up!

Woes of a Quality Timer

2011-04-01T12:25:00.004-06:00

Have you ever heard of love languages? You know... touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gifts. Well, I'm a quality timer (and a little bit words of affirmation). The intent of sharing this is not to express to you how you can best show love for me (although, might be a perk). My intent is to complain. Imagine for a minute an individual. To this individual, time with other people means a lot. And this individual spends most of their "free time" alone. Sad right? Pity me!

On the plus side, I went home last weekend!!! It was great! AND I'm going home AGAIN 11 days from now. Woot! Saying this just gave me the realization of everything I have to do in 11 days. Yikes!

Life is busy, life is full, life is good.

P.S. I love swing sets, and sunshine, and ice cream.

P.P.S. It's true, girls really do just wanna have fun.

Wishing Well

2011-03-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

The other day I reached into my coat pocket and look what I found:

One time, my dad told me that every time we find a penny, it's a little reminder that God is thinking of us. Thanks Dad :)

Mmm...

2011-03-09T21:59:00.001-07:00

I love when at the end of a day, you stick your face into a pillow with freshly washed sheets and get a whiff of heaven :)

I Love My Dad

2011-03-06T21:46:00.004-07:00

Often these words get stuck in my head:

"I love little baby ducks, and good ol' pickup trucks, and tomatoes on the vine."

And then I think of my dad singing this song in my wonderful childhood years. And I always leave that memory with a smile.

How can we....

2011-03-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

Love life when its painful, and it hurts, and you just want things to be happy, and whole, and good?

Because tomorrow is always a new day with great potential for good. And each moment has potential to be brighter than the last. The Lord will put the right people in our life when we need them the most. And there is always a way out of the sadness that tries so hard to surround us. It's just a matter of finding it.

And most of all, when it feels like you matter to no one in the world, sometimes not even yourself... you do. You matter. Who you are makes the biggest difference in the world. Regardless of what messages are being sent to you, from how many sources, not one life of those who know you would be the same without you. You are needed. You are wanted.

You matter.

The Latest in Tourette's

2011-02-24T23:18:00.002-07:00

Tics are funny things. They move around the body through out life and change without warning or reason. One year they will be arm tics, the next abs, the next neck, or all at once. The first few years after my Tourette's kicked in I did a lot of facial tics and biceps. The past few years haven't been so bad with shoulder and ab tics, and the occasional neck tic.

Surprise! The past few weeks my tics have moved again. And they are all centered in my lovely head. I'm back to facial tics, and lots of them. And I have some major neck tics. I've never had tics where I've needed to bang the back of my head against something, so that has been a new experience. My poor roommates are probably going to get sick of the banging sound coming from my room. It seems as though the best way to relieve this tic is to sit on my bed with my back to the wall and hit against it. As you might imagine, my neck is tired and my head hurts.

Another surprise! I'm developing vocal tics. It started as an odd whimper and has turned into to some weird grunts and HAs.

On the plus side, my neck is going to get really strong.
So if you see me making faces at you, or hear me whimpering, just know that the dopamine in my brain is having a party. No worries.

Guess What!

2011-02-03T18:54:00.002-07:00

It's Thursday and I'm already breathing again. Happy day.

P.S. Tomorrow is interviews for next year's incoming master's applicants. I've been waiting for this day since I was in the same shoes this time last year. Can't wait to meet/torture/comfort/get them excited for the amazing journey grad school/MFT/other paths in life will take them on. Oh to claim experience. It's a good feeling.

Over My Head, Under a Blimp

2011-02-01T22:03:00.005-07:00

Have you ever had so much to do you just wanted to release the intensity of the stress somehow? Cry, exercise, have a lot of fun, something? Like somehow you got stuck under a grounded blimp and you just want to exert all your energy to push it off but it's going to take awhile. You love it, but lifting the weight of what you love would be great.

That's me.
But I always remember, when Friday comes, I'll breathe again.

Until then my friends.

I Love...

2011-01-28T09:11:00.007-07:00

...that you can learn to love where you are, and not hate it until its over. I love Provo! Can you believe it? Or maybe I just love my life and therefore love the place in which my life resides at this time. Either way, its wonderful!

Disclaimer: This is a very long story. But, if you begin this story, you must read to the end or else, you will not leave happy.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived in Portsmouth, Ohio where she attended college. This little girl's days were filled with magic and happiness and she loved what she was doing and learning. However, even though the little girl was happy in Portsmouth, she dreamed of the day when she would get to go where she had always desired, Provo, Utah. Then one day she found out she would go where she always desired, and do wonderful things at a wonderful graduate school called BYU.

However, when the little girl moved to the wonderous place, her days were no longer filled with happiness and magic. She became sad and questioned everything she had wanted. Why wasn't it like she pictured? Why wasn't it as splendid as she imagined? She strongly disliked where she was. She strongly disliked what she was doing. And she strongly disliked some of the things she was learning. Did she pick the wrong career choice, or was something else at work?

For weeks the little girl tried to find the answer and sought happiness in all the places she had found it before in her life. But alas, no luck.

Then, one day, the little girl decided that she did not want to spend her days in Provo buying her time until she could leave as had been done in Portsmouth. She wanted to enjoy every minute of the experience and be so happy along the way. She wanted her life in Provo to be everything she had imagined it to be. So she worked very hard with a very important, yet unseen person in her life to know what to do. And guess what the result was. Lots and lots of SMILES and LOVE and HAPPINESS!!!!

The little girl's days again were filled with magic and wonder, and this time is was more magic and wonder than she had ever before experienced. Day after day more and more things fell into place and the little girl's path was laid before her. Without the each step clearly visible, she joyfully skipped down this path with flowers and sunshine all around.

I have been so blessed that things have turned around for me. Nothing has really changed in my circumstances. I'm still in the same program. I moved, but not far, and nothing is profoundly different about that. I'm still a student. I'm still giving therapy. Pretty much everything is the same. But things are happy now.

Want to know the secret? What has made the profound difference is the quality of my relationship with my Heavenly Father and the quality of my relationship with myself. I do not announce this to the world by any means to say how great or spiritual I am. I say it so you can know the fastest way to happiness that I have found. And you're welcome to steal my happiness finding techniques. In fact, please do.

A friend of mine once gave me some advice to ask the Lord for the greatest blessing He desires to give me right now. At the time, I didn't do what my friend had said, but this past week I got the feeling that I should. Not knowing what this gift might be, I asked for it. I didn't know what it was, but I knew it would come. Today, I was prompted to ask what it was, I did, and I was given the answer. You'll never guess. It was HAPPINESS!!!! The greatest gift my Heavenly Father has to give me right now, is me being happy where I am and with what I am doing RIGHT NOW. Not just in what the future holds. What a great blessing :)

Happy Sabbath!!!

Run, Run, As Fast As You Can!

2011-01-23T22:18:00.003-07:00

I'm running a 1/2 marathon!!! I wasn't planning on announcing that in case I don't make it past the finish line. But, I have a reason for bringing it up. Sarah June, a friend of mine from my program, and I are running for the Tourette Syndrome Association and we're hoping to raise money for research and education programs. If you would be willing to donate, go here, and be my hero.
The race is May 7th so we have until then to raise $1000. Just think, maybe some day I'll be tic free and I'll be able to thank you because you helped find a cure.

Say What?

2011-01-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

I went to the grocery story a few days ago and ran into this guy: I still have no idea what it is. But I love it.

Fall, Fall, Fall

2011-01-10T06:00:00.005-07:00

Fall was full of lots of firsts for me. Including:

My first semester at BYU

My first time seeing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir live

My first client

My first prank at BYU

My first Oakcrestie mission farewell (where I got to see these beautiful ladies)

My first BYU Creamery banana split (and my last)

My first getting asked to homecoming in an awesome way

There were a ton of names on the back, but when I washed it, this appeared:
My first acceptance of being asked to homecoming in an amazingly cool way
If you can't tell these are a ton of letters which when arranged spell out, "You're Mr. Wright for homecoming night" (his last name is Wright. Clever, wright? :))

It's been a fun semester. But, if you know me better than a distant acquaintance, you know I've really struggled this semester. Struggled with adjusting to Provo life, post-Oakcrest life, grad school life, and crazy Tourette's attack life(although this wasn't new, but in a new situation). I have had a really hard time being happy. It's probably been the most personally/emotionally/spiritually challenging 4 months I've had yet in my young life.

BUT! This semester I am determined to have an amazing, fulfilling, HAPPY time! My motivation came out of hiding and I feel lighter. I'm in a new house, and a new ward and I'm ready for the semester and my renewed strength. I feel great! It's going to be a wonderful semester. Get ready folks, cause the happiness is already oozing out of me once again. I'm back baby!

P.S. I L-O-V-E my new ward. They're just my type. Me=So happy :)

Dear 2010, You're Over

2011-01-05T22:14:00.003-07:00

I'm a couple days late but I thought this year demands reviewing for the eventfulness it contained. In 2010 I:

-Interned for Scioto County Juvenile Court
-Interviewed for grad school at BYU
-Got into grad school at BYU
-Interviewed for OAKCREST
-Got into OAKCREST
-Got the Psychology Major of the Year Award (not to brag or anything)
-Graduated college
-Was given a new car by my awesome parents
-Moved to Provo
-Served my heart out for 10 weeks in the most wonderful place on Earth AKA Oakcrest
-Started grad school
-Moved within Provo
-Survived my first semester of grad school
-Started seeing clients (yea, I give therapy! Can you believe it?)
-Had the most heart wrenching moments and moments of despair I've ever had in my life
-Had the most joyful, uplifting, hopeful, happy, and sacred moments of my life

It's been an unbelievable year. A year ago I was planning and hoping to do almost all the things on this list, but I had no idea the journey these things would take me on. The ups and downs, the highs and lows, the love and the pain, the amazing friendships I've developed, the hearts I've touched, and more importantly the hearts that have touched mine. This sounds a little extreme but this year was extreme for me. I had no idea what it would be. But looking back, I love what 2010 has taught me and made me.

Here's to a great 2011!

Girls and Healing

2010-12-14T20:57:00.004-07:00

I just discovered this website. And I think it's brilliant. There's something about voicing your deepest darkest secrets and bringing the darkness to light that is so healing and so therapeutic. When that which is dark and shameful, and embarrassing is brought to the forefront and the world does not fall down around us, or does, then healing can begin. I love it. And on a website like this where you can learn from the experiences of others, or relate to them and realize you are not alone, its great.

I've recently began to realize the magnitude of the way women view themselves. In our society women of every age, little girls, teenagers, young adult women, middle-aged women, moms, grandmas, and everything in between are never pretty enough, smart enough, do enough, are enough. I'm so lucky that I grew up in "realistic" family. I always knew there were certain things I wasn't great at. But I also knew that it didn't matter. Regardless of whether I was as thin as kids at school thought I should be, I could be happy. I was still going to grow up and be successful and be a good person. Regardless of whether I was as smart as was expected of me, I was still going to do just fine.

I've always known I have flaws, but I am not flawed.

Girls today are not given that message. When you have flaws, you can get rid of them or improve on them. When you are flawed, it is just the way it is and it can't be fixed. My family somehow gave me the message that there is always room for improvement, but you are not your weaknesses, and you can be happy and confident along the road of growth.

And, as a side note: Healing is so powerful. This might sound weird and maybe its a therapist thing, maybe its a human thing, but I think you can feel when healing is happening for others. For example, when I opened the website listed above I literally felt healing flow out of the screen. Or when I walk past the doors of therapy rooms, from time to time, through the door I can feel the power of what is happening inside. Having felt this makes me want so badly to be a great therapist. I just don't know how to be one yet. I'm trying, but it's so forced. I don't know how to help people heal. But I want to. Maybe I'm taking the wrong approach on this. Any thoughts?

Howdy

2010-12-08T00:42:00.002-07:00

Hello blog reader. It's been a while. Soon (when I get a spare moment, rather than minute) you'll hear all about my adventures from this semester. For now the simple thought that's on my mind will have to do.

I go home in 10 days. That fact makes me so happy I could cry. In fact, I'm getting a little teary with excitement right now. Home :)

Tic, Tic, Tic

2010-11-17T18:15:00.002-07:00

Sometimes its fun to give a little window into the life of a Tourettic grad student. I say things that I can and can't do and people often say "Oh, I never thought of that." I smile.

So here are some things in my life that are influenced by Chronic Motor Tic Disorder (the official name of my always present friend).
1. The laptop I'm typing on doesn't have the "tap click" turned on. I don't know what its really called, but you know the square where you move your finger around and it directs the arrow on the screen? And when you want to click something you just tap? Yea. Mine you have to click the button instead of tap. When I used to have the tap turned on, I tapped a little too much and could never stay on the page I wanted.
2. I take a long time to put on mascara. No, I'm not a diva. I just have to pause a lot so my arm can tic. Otherwise it would end up all over my face, or worse, in my eyeball :)
3. I really like straws. Open glasses are all well and good, but when you have a glass tilted at your face, and your arm jerks, you get messy. Wonder why I always order water? I don't want to be sticky by the end of my meal.
4. My shirts have loose seams. If I wear shirts that are constricting at the seams at all, they rip when my arm flies at 50 MPH (exaggeration of course).
5. I get asked if I have hiccups or cold chills at least twice a day. Even when its 90 degrees outside. And its really funny when the person sitting next to you in Sunday School/at the movies/in the library starts to notice you are moving a lot and in interesting ways so they begin to watch you out of the corner of their eye, while looking very confused, and they think you can't see them. I like to blow them a little kiss when I see that. Not really, but can you imagine how funny that would be.
6. In between writing I have to put my pen down. I can't hold it in my hand or else ink will end up in places its not supposed to be.
7. Breathing is a task. I have to essentially gulp in between abdomen jerks so I get enough oxygen. If I get light headed you can know my abs are probably just ticcing a lot and I'm not getting enough air.
8. Allow me to demonstrate something. Take one of your muscles, lets say your bicep. Now contract that muscle. Now contract again. And again. Now contract that muscle every few seconds randomly all day, every day for the rest of your life. Now imagine your other bicep, your abs, your thighs, and various other muscles participating in these contractions. That's me.
You don't want to arm wrestle me. My muscles are working out all day every day.
9. I'm grateful when people can ask me about what is happening with my body. And can even joke with me about it.
10. I'm even more grateful when people know I have it and get so used to it, they forget I have it and don't notice the tics anymore. That is a true tender mercy.

I have something that makes me totally different from all but 100,000 people in the U.S. Obviously, if I'm as awesome as I am now, God had to give me Tourette's or else I would have been SO AWESOME the Earth would not be able to contain my awesomeness. I had to have something to "hold me back" in the eyes of others. But in reality, Tic Disorder is more propelling me forward, figuratively and literally :)

So if you ever wonder why I am so high strung, or get so excited about things, or am just plain crazy, remember I'm just doped up. Meaning I have a lot of dopamine. In my substantia nigra to be exact.

Where Are You Hiding?

2010-11-14T17:45:00.002-07:00

So remember Miranda... the overly motivated, driven, go-getter Miranda? Her friend, named motivation, has decided not to be friends anymore and has gone into hiding. This is a problem. I can't get anything done, and have become friends with this evil little thing called apathy. Not good. Motivation, come back! Let's be friends again! I promise I'll give up Disney Channel and everything. Be my friend.

On another note, to avoid getting real work done, but still pretending to be productive I research what I want to do in the future. In thinking about the future I realized, by next December I'm going to have to start narrowing my choices. How did that happen so quick? I know its a whole year away, but it always sneaks up faster than I expect. It was less than a year ago that I was clueless as to what came next in my life while applying to grad school and praying like crazy :)

So, because I like daydreaming and have this problem where I live more in the future than the present, here are my options for after graduation: 1. Get a job (my least favorite) 2. Serve a mission for my church (my favorite) 3. Teach for America 4. Go for a PhD 5. Find a random internship abroad. If I had to guess right now, I would say I'll serve a mission, come home, get a job until the school year starts and then do Teach for America. But we all know how things work out when you plan :)

We'll see. Maybe I should learn to live in the present and do some homework every once in a while before I start planning post-master's life.

P.S. I start seeing clients REALLY soon. Like this week/next week soon. Woot/scaredness!
P.P.S. I became an aunt for the 6th time this week. My new niece is Cora Ann. I can't wait until Christmas!!! It's days like this when I really wish I didn't live in Utah. Alas, I will see my wonderful, family soon enough.

Beyond the Clouds

2010-10-31T16:50:00.008-06:00

I love hot air balloons. For lots of reasons. My brother would probably say because we're both full of hot air :) Hot air balloons have always been profound to me. This summer as I drove to Oakcrest each Monday morning, I would pass through the small town of Heber, UT. And every time I did I saw hot air air balloons rising into the sky going where ever they wanted soaring to great heights all while the passengers are contained by a cube with the top cut off. Some times when we look at the sky we see low dreary clouds and our brain pictures them as the limit to the sky. But hot air balloons can go straight through those clouds to the never ending possibilities on the other side. I love it. I think we should all be a little more hot air balloon-like. Bursting through the clouds of our life so we can realize the amazing potential on the other side.
Sometimes we see a single hot air balloon in the sky on its own journey that its enjoying and exploring independently. Other times we see huge groups or festivals of hot air balloons that fill the sky with bubble shaped adventure. Like with life, sometimes we have to leave the world behind to reach new heights. Other times, our friends, family, and those around us are on the voyage with us and we all are rising above the blanness and complication of life on land.
Not only that, but have you ever seen a dreary hot air balloon? I think not! They are always so colorful and vibrant and happiness invoking.

Now, if you are thinking, "I would love to be like that but hot air balloons have hot air which comes from propane, and I don't have either of those things." I have two words for you. Jesus Christ. The Savior is the propane and when you follow Him you allow for your balloon to be filled with hot air which lifts you off the ground. That's it. Love and follow the Savior.

To sum up... be a hot air balloon.

Goldie Girl

2010-10-20T23:50:00.004-06:00

I love my last name. I love it more than my first name. Maybe it's because I have golden hair, so it fits me (not golden as in the blondies that fake "gold" but actually literally gold). Maybe it's because I am known as Goldielocks to very significant people in my life. Maybe it's because all of my girls at Oakcrest were "Goldie Girls" and that makes me forever linked to them. But I think mostly it's because of the connection and love that I feel with my family, especially my mom and sisters when I think of my last name. It will be a sad day when I have to give up that beautiful, sweet, good feeling last name. But until then, I'm happy being a Goldie Girl and love all the meanings that has in my life.

Spilled Milk, More Like Warm Milk

2010-10-09T15:59:00.003-06:00

Do you ever pour yourself a cold delicious glass of milk, drink approximately half of the contents of the glass, set the glass down on the counter or the floor next to the couch where you are reading, get side tracked, come back to the milky deliciousness an hour later, take a big swig and realize that in your distraction your milk reached room temperature and you want to gag?

Me neither.

Thoughts-A-Daisies

2010-09-29T22:48:00.006-06:00

I wish fall in Utah looked like fall in Ohio.

The brightest blessings come in the darkest of moments.

Sometimes I wish Tic Disorder didn't hurt so much.

There's too much good in my life to be sad.

Things I'm looking forward to right now:
Seeing my Oakcrest family
General conference
A dance/sleep in the living room with mattresses on the floor party with my roommates
A killer game of sardines this weekend.

Life is good.

Everybody, Everybody Wants to Be Loved

2010-09-27T22:39:00.006-06:00

If you can't tell yet, there is and Ingrid Michaelson song for everything in my life.

Last week I was talking with a friend and he mentioned how we all have the basic need to be loved and we sometimes do crazy things to fulfill that need. That got me thinking.

Since I moved to Utah I have been void of almost all my close friends and my family. I realized I have been doing what I consider pretty crazy things to fill that void and to feel loved. So here's what I've learned about that. It is good to have "significant other" at some point to fill some of that need to be loved. But right now, my family loves me, and I have so many friends that love me. Even though most are far away, that should be enough. But, it's not.

The gap left over needs to be filled with the love Heavenly Father and the Savior offer. I need to develop my relationship with deity better and get myself in a place where I can allow Christ's love to come into my life and fill in all the empty spaces, instead of the few I'm letting him fill right now.

During this process, love freely. It's what will get you the love you need from the people in your life and from the man upstairs. If you know me well, you know when I love something I love it completely. So when that thing or person is gone, it's tough and hurts a lot. And as I've mentioned I've had a lot of things leave my life in the past 5 months. I think that's keeping me from loving as completely as I usually do. Don't do that. Don't follow my example. Love, love, love.

Life is great. The gospel is great. You are great.

I'm happy where I am. It's been difficult to get to that point (mainly because I'm not a fan of Utah. My heart is in the Midwest), and it's truer some days than others, but I'm happy. And God loves me. What more could I ask for?

Treasures of Old

2010-09-12T17:09:00.002-06:00

I love going through old stuff and finding things from the good old days.

Oh, to be young again.

Yes, I Am Alive

2010-09-12T15:28:00.002-06:00

Wondering where I've been the past 3 months? I'll tell you.

I finished Oakcrest. Leaving that place may have been more bitter than leaving my home. I still feel weird introducing myself as Miranda. After Oakcrest was over somethings happened that really got me in a funk. A couple weeks later, we had a meeting and I got to see some of my favorite 2010 staff. After that, life was good again. There's something about being Goldielocks and seeing the people I love and grew so much with that just makes me happy and makes everything in life, no matter how confusing or sad, good. I miss it every day.

I also got to go home! I saw Ellas, and Prestons, and Brennens, and pregnant sisters, and parents, and old friends. It was wonderful.

So now for the latest...... I started GRAD SCHOOL. Yep, grad school. Yep, BYU! Yep, the thing that will be the death of me. Yep, reading more pages than my brain can hold. Yep, staying up til the wee hours of the night trying to remember what I'm reading. Yep, having no social life. Yep, helping people make their relationships and families better and helping to fulfill the plan of salvation. I don't think grad school cold have a better pay off than that.

I LOVE my program. I really like my cohort and I think although it is going to be tough I'm going to grow a lot and it's going to be great.

In other news... I was SO blessed with the roommates I got for the year. They are the nicest. And they're clean, and go to bed early, and don't watch much TV. Could I be any luckier?! They are perfect for me! It is going to be a great year.

On a different note the past three months have been filled with a lot of heart break for me. I have had things, places, situations, and people taken out of my life that I really wish were still there. It's been rough. However, I would like to say a little something about healing. The very first day of one of my classes the first thing the professor said was something to the likes of "I want to be very clear where healing comes from. It does not come from me as a therapist and therapy only facilitates it. Healing is a divine gift. It is a gift from Deity." I know that to be true.

Sometimes things happen in life that we don't understand, and are just difficult and we don't know how to fix it. We want to do something to ease our pain but we don't know how. I've learned time and time again, if I know how to do nothing else but pray and keep the commandments, I know enough. When we strive to keep the commandments and develop a stronger relationship with our Father in Heaven and Savior, no matter what is going on in life, we will feel the healing power of the atonement come into our lives and heal our wounded heart. We can feel peace and happiness amidst the junk going on around us. I've really had to apply that the past few months. And it's been great.

Here's to a happy fall!

Worth It

2010-07-11T16:17:00.003-06:00

Last week a girl wrote this to me on the last day of camp:

"My testimony that I wasn't even sure was there... has grown so much this week. It has become something that will affect my life forever. This week has been one of the most spiritual weeks of my life."

When things get tough, when I've had enough, when I want to pull out my hair and scream, when I'm tired and worn, when I'm homesick beyond all homesick worse than any of the camper's homesickness, this makes it all worth it.

MIA

2010-06-18T18:23:00.009-06:00

For the summer, Monday morning through Friday afternoon I am up in the mountains of Utah with no cell phone, no computer, and no mp3 player. Its great. And on the weekends I come home and SLEEEEEEP because during the week, I don't get much :)

A side effect of this is going to be a lack of blogging. But I wanted to give you a little taste of my life right now.

I've lived through:

Flying asteroids (aka flour bombs)...

A giant slide sandwich...

Some messy but delicious cookouts...

13 year old girls hurling me down a zipline...

Golf ball sized hail...

A GIANT slip n' slide...

My first concert...

Lots of love...

Some sweet paper costume parties...

My favorite being Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus during Blast from the Past week...

(I make a spot on Ms. Frizzle if I do say so myself)

And 52 amazing girls.

I can't believe the summer is already half way over. I'm trying to savor every minute. Its been wonderful, tiring, stressful, rewarding, joyful, sorrowful, and great all at the same time. I've never felt so much love for those around me as I do at Oakcrest. It truly is a magical place where I get to teach, testify, stay up late giggling, and have tons of fun. I'm having the time of my life. So here's to the next 5 weeks! May they be as fantastic as the last!

Happy Summer!

Thought Bubble

2010-05-30T14:22:00.003-06:00

I start camp tomorrow morning.

I am:

Happy,

Stressed,

Homesick,

Under prepared,

Excited beyond belief,

Overwhelmed,

Nervous,

Giddy,

& Tired

All at the same time. Is this normal?

Best 10 weeks of my life.... here I come.

My Favorite Place on Earth

2010-05-25T06:00:00.000-06:00

Home.

From the driveway I walked hundreds of times after getting off the bus....

To the tree house we built with my dad...

To the sweet bird setup of my dad's that we watched for hours from the kitchen window...

To the amazing view from my front porch...
Ask where my favorite place on earth is, I'll always say home.

You're very welcome :)

Little happinesses

2010-05-21T12:21:00.003-06:00

In case you didn't already know... I'm in UTAH!!!!! I've been living here for the past couple of weeks getting ready to start work for an LDS girls' camp for the summer. I'm stoked. While walking around campus today I suddenly saw movement on the grass not 2 feet from my feet. It was this little guy. There are ducks randomly all around campus. It makes my heart happy.

In other news... have you ever felt the prayers of other people for you? You don't hear them but you can feel their power working in your life and you know others have been praying for you. To any of you that might have been praying for me over the last couple weeks as I've settled and had a little difficulty adjusting, thanks. I felt them. Majorly.

And FINALLY! Yesterday, I finally had my moment. Since I got here I haven't really settled in. I've been going from one thing to the next trying to get ready for camp, finish my online classes and sneak a little fun in. I've questioned whether I am where I'm supposed to be even though I already had that confirmation before I left home. But, finally, yesterday, as I drove back to my apartment and looked across the mountains and contemplated where my life has taken me, I had my moment. I know I'm right where I need to be doing just what I need to be doing. It's a great feeling.

The Final Goodbye

2010-05-12T19:21:00.017-06:00

My last full day in Portsmouth, Ohio at Shawnee State University, Andrea (one of my very best friends who I met in that very town at that very school) and I walked around Portsmouth reminiscing about our years there. I can't believe that phase of my life is over. It came and went so quick. So to celebrate/mourn my movin' on, here are some of the things I loved/made me smile in Portsmouth.

Springtime on campus,

Winter's snowfalls/SNOW DAYS!!

Living next to the Ohio River/bridge,

The amazing flood wall covered in murals,

The class of the local folk,

Campin'

Dancin'

Epic basketball games,

Multiple costume parties,

Cookie Paluza Extravaganzas,

My best friend getting married,

And my last day with this wonderful girl who I will sorely miss while I'm in Utah.

There you have it. My Portsmouth experience in a very large nutshell. As much as I disliked parts of Portsmouth, I have to say, I will miss it. I learned a ton in my two short years there. I loved my professors, my classmates, and all the people that let me experience a little of the Appalachian area. A little piece of my heart will always be in that town at that school.

A word to the wise, don't let one day of any part of your life pass unlived to the fullest. Before you know it, you'll be in a new place, doing new things and your memories will be just that... memories. Make those memories everything you dream and more :)

The One Who Birthed Me

2010-05-09T18:14:00.004-06:00

Happy Mother's Day!!! In celebration of this divine day I wanted to tell you all a little about my mom and 15 reasons I am blessed to have her in my life. Warning: The first two reasons are pretty graphic so be fore-warned.

1. She brought me here. She was willing to give up occupant space for 10 months and do something really difficult so I could be in my family and be ALIVE. What a great mom.

2. PUKE! Gross I know but, all growing up whenever we were sick and threw up or other things in random places she always cleaned it up. I never fully grasped this until a couple of years ago when I had to clean up a friend's throw up. It. Was. Disgusting. I now know that my mom didn't have to do that. I know plenty of moms who didn't. And she never complained or anything. She just did it.

3. Going along with number 2, she always let me sleep with her when I was sick. To those of you who have ever been deathly ill, hopefully you know there is nothing like a mother's care and being able to be close to her when you're sick. Having her next to me always made me feel better and taken care of. Even when I WHINED for HOURS about how bad my stomach hurt, she endured and allowed my germy, complaining self into her room.

4. The best happy dance ever. When my mom gets really excited her little legs get going and she sort of jumps up and down and does half way between a squeal and a giggle. If you've ever seen this, you know what I'm talking about. Her happy dance, as I like to call it, has always brought a smile to my face, even if my eyes were rolling as a snotty "mature" teenager.

5. Her glasses face. My mom recently got glasses and sometimes they fall down on her nose slightly. Instead of pushing them up, she'll bend her head backward to be able to look through them. That look with her tilted head and magnified eyes (because the glasses are farther from her face) makes me smile.

6. Her hands. My mom has very distinct and unique hands. They are strong and worn from years of service to her family, children, church, and anyone else she could help. They are worn but still going strong. I remember them often smelling like bleach or onions which shows her continuous service to her family.

7. The pool. Every summer of my entire life we had a refreshing, fun, clean pool to swim in because of my mom. She wore herself out every summer taking care of the pool. Some of my greatest childhood memories are in that pool so how grateful I am for that blessing.

8. Her harmony. My mom is an awesome alto. I loved listening to her harmonize to hymns in church or songs on the radio or tunes I played on the piano. I love that about my mom.

9. Her hair. I love that my mom doesn't have "mom hair." Not that there's anything wrong with mom hair, but I always loved my moms longer locks which she let me play with for hours upon hours my entire childhood. And often still does.

10. Summer cookin'. Every summer I remember coming in from playing outside or watching my dad garden to my mom standing next to the stove cooking dinner for us. It was one of those consistent things that I knew when came inside, that's where she'd be.

11. Canning. My mom took weeks out of her summer every year to make sure we had yummy veggies to eat throughout the year. I still think my family's green beans and sweet corn are the best.

12. I can talk to her. I pretty much tell my mom everything. Sometimes I'll call her about 10 times a day to tell her what going on or about things that got me excited. Sometimes she answers and says "What is it this time?" when I'm calling for the fourth time in one hour. But she always answers. And I know she will always be willing to lend an ear to listen to my random stories, my heartaches, and my joys. Because she's my mom.

13. Her patience. My mom has put up with a lot in raising her family. Especially from me. I am not the most patient person and I know I have done and said hurtful things to my mom throughout my life. But she goes on loving me. She keeps giving all she has physically, emotionally, spiritually, and temporally to her kids and husband no matter how bad we make her feel by our thoughtless or blatantly unkind words and actions. She rarely got angry or said much back. How she held her tongue, I'll never know. I think that is a real talent.

14. How much I'm like her. I think out of all my siblings, most would agree I am most like my mom. I think we have a lot of the same mannerisms and habits. Hopefully this will continue and I'll be as great of a mom as she has been.

15. Her "just do it" attitude and lifestyle. Growing up, my mom would bear spontaneous testimony of the things she is grateful for her life. But, the way I knew of my mom's testimony most was by watching and seeing more than listening. There are lots of things that she just does because she knows its right. She does complain or even really think about it, she just does it. When I was little I always knew that I would go to church because that's just the way it was. As I got older and realized just because we, as a family, "do that" doesn't mean we have to. But, seeing my mom and her dedication I knew she would never put so much time and energy into something that wasn't true or didn't benefit her life in some way. She has a deep love for the gospel and the Savior and I always knew that even since I was young. I often walked in on my mom on her knees in her bedroom praying to her Father in Heaven and that taught me a great lesson. I knew she had a relationship with Him, so I could too. A mother's testimony is essential to the development of her children's testimonies and my mom had one of the largest roles in shaping mine. I'm so grateful she didn't slack off. If she did I know wouldn't be as happy as I am today.

So to all you moms out there: happy mother's day. You have no idea the influence you are having in the lives of those around you. Especially your children. And to my mom: thanks. You did a great job. I mean, just look at how awesome your youngest daughter is. You must have done something right :)

I love you mom.

Why yes! I Would Love a Diploma!

2010-05-03T11:00:00.002-06:00

When you get your doctorate you are then a doctor. I guess that makes me a BACHELOR!!! Woot Woot! Saturday was my college graduation!

As the Shawnee State University graduates of 2010 proceeded down the steps, we began to feel sprinkles and by the time we filed in front of our seats it was raining. The graduates remained standing for the prayer and pledge of allegiance (At this point I'm laughing at how awesome it is going to be to graduate and walk the stage in the rain). While we are still standing, the President of Shawnee stands and says something to the likes of this:

As you may have noticed it is raining. There is a change of plans so listen closely. By the authority vested in me, I now confer upon you your degrees. Congratulations. You are dismissed.

Yep. That was it. We didn't even sit down and it was over. Lame? Yes. Funny? Either that or devastating. Might as well laugh. My college commencement lasted approximately 3 minutes and 26 seconds. Give or take. Pretty sweet. I was disappointed that I didn't get to walk the stage, but it is what it is.

We did manage to get some pictures luckily.

So there you have it.
3 years
2 summers
58 textbooks
17,748 pages
over 100 pages worth of papers
1 semester interning with juvenile court
25 pounds
countless hours of studying, reading, and stressing
and a 3 minute ceremony later....

I have a bachelors in Psychology from Shawnee State University!

Now... on to grad school!

Sistaz

2010-05-02T20:34:00.003-06:00

Last weekend I was able to take a break from finals studying to go to Pittsburgh for Time Out for Women with my sisters, mom, and some great friends who lived in Wilmington back in the day. It was a wonderful weekend full of laughter, great messages, good company, and more laughter. It was the perfect way to lead into my last week of undergrad. And Pittsburgh..... I must say, I like it.

I only wish Mal Mal could have been there too.

Single Digits

2010-04-22T18:47:00.004-06:00

Remember this?

For the past 91 days this chain has hung by my desk and one by one it has gotten smaller and smaller. As of today... there is a single digit of links left. 9!!!!!!!!! I graduate in 9 days! Woo Hoo!

Happy finals week!

(Is that an oxymoron?)

Braggin' s

2010-04-19T09:31:00.005-06:00

A couple weeks ago I got a mysterious invitation in the mail to "An Evening of Honors" that said I was nominated for honors. My response was, "I'm not going. What if I didn't even get an award. That would be awkward." But my mom made me go and her and my dad came too.
As a side note: I'm graduating college and my mom can still make me do things. What's wrong with this picture :)

Anyways, I went and turns out... I got an award! I am this years Outstanding Psychology Major. Every year they give it to one graduating senior. This year they gave it to two. The other one was a psych buddy of mine David Wang. I didn't mind sharing. After all, David's a genius, so that makes me look good right? :)

And the best part of all: I got my picture taken with Shawn E. Bear. My hero.

For The Record

2010-04-16T12:44:00.004-06:00

Drew Carey wore them before Taylor Swift.
Just sayin'

Let's All Just Give Up

2010-04-07T18:05:00.007-06:00

In case you didn't know, I love Ingrid Michaelson. So, to celebrate my senioritis (and avoid my homework) I'd like to propose some of my own interpretation and insert some comments to one of her songs. It's called "Giving Up." I should point out I'm applying this to all parts of life, not just relationships.

What if we stop having a ball?
No worries. Trudge through that hard time and look for the little things that can bring a smile until you get back to the fun times.

What if the paint chips from the wall?
It happens. Things get tough. We get worn and tattered along the way. Repaint. Patching and makeshift repairs only work for so long. Repaint, preferably a color that makes your heart happy. Make the changes to be who you want to be.

What if there's always cups in the sink?
It doesn't matter. Learn to be okay without a perfectly perfect place. Sometimes there are more important things than having a clean kitchen/bathroom/house. Of course order and organization are wonderful and needful things. But every now and again, neglect those cups in the sink and spend time with the ones you love.

What if I'm not what you think I am?
If what they think you are is way better that what you are, shoot for that. Enjoy the love and strive to be better. And, take a second look. Maybe their perception is closer to the truth than yours. Cut yourself a break and see the good!
If what they think you are is less than who you think you are, prove 'em wrong. See who you want to be and be it. Forget what anyone else says or thinks. You're going places and they're going to get left behind if they can't keep up.

What if I fall further than you?
Whatever you do, do with all your heart, might, mind, and strength. If you crash and burn, your heart will only grow back bigger and stronger each time until you find that one thing your now humongous heart can be devoted to forever.

What if you dream of somebody new?
Babies! They just might be dreaming of a little one that will change both of your lives forever :)

What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin? Well what if I do?
Cut it out. What's more important, to be right, or to be kind. Give in a little and be wrong sometimes (even if you KNOW you're right).
As for the rolling pin... everyone always loves a good game of tag now and again.

Cause I am giving up on making passes
Let life happen. And enjoy every minute. Do what you've gotta do. Make goals, dream big, then, once you're on the ride, Enjoy :)

and I am giving up on half empty glasses
Make 'em half full. There's much more that way.

and I am giving up on greener grasses
and enjoying the greenness of the grass on my side of the fence, right under my feet, right here, right now. Live life, and love it. Even when the grass is brown, love the variety you're given and know it will be green again.

I am giving up

What if our baby comes in after nine?
Love them anyways. We all mess up sometimes. Remember your low points and let those memories motivate you to help pull them back to higher ground.
Sometimes its okay to loosen the grip and let go a little. Freedom is something we all love. But limits of course are important too :)

What it your eyes close before mine?
Know they'll be waiting for you with anticipation on the other side :)

What if you lose yourself sometimes?
Ingrid answers this one pretty well:
Then I'll be the one to find you, safe in my heart.

Cause I am giving up on making passes
and I am giving up on half empty glasses
and I am giving up on greener grasses

I am giving up

So just this once... give up. It could do us all some good.

Road Buddies

2010-04-04T18:30:00.005-06:00

Because I live 2 hours from home and my 2 closest friends all in different directions, I spend a lot of time on the road. And I love it. I get to take a brake from homework and stress and just drive and sing at the top of my lungs. From time to time I have a buddy that likes to travel with me.

Maybe I should explain...

I always love company on the road.

Happy traveling!

An Odd One

2010-03-17T18:55:00.002-06:00

Happy St. Patty's Day! I hope its a great one. For me today was one of those bizarre days where everything is just kind of off. I thought I'd share in case you need a good giggle or want to feel better about yourself.

First, I started my day with my internship. My supervisor was out the office so I sat with one of her co-workers and watched her do paperwork for THREE HOURS. It was stellar. I kind of wanted to pull my eyeballs out of my head. But I didn't.

Then as I got home the sun was shinin' and I was feelin' good. I went to change my clothes for class and decided.... CAPRIS!! Woot Woot! So as I put on my first pair of capris of the year they reminded me I am WHITE. Not white as in I could never be gangsta' but white as in super pale. Although the first context applies considering I'm a white girl who wears capris.

Anyways, my first pair of capris also made me aware of the fact that I haven't shaved for a while. So I rolled up the pants and headed for the bathtub razor in hand. I hopped in (fully clothed) and right as I turned the knob I realized someone left the shower knob pulled and I was soaked head to toe :) All I could do was laugh at myself.

Then I go to class and my professors and classmates are almost giddy. I laughed my head off all day because everyone was acting so weird. It was great. And as I rode my bike home tonight, the dog that usually chases me stood on the sidewalk and just barked. Score!

This is more detail than I'm sure you would ever care to know about my life but all in all, today was bizarre, and full of giggles. Hopefully I gave you some too. Probably not as much as I gave myself though.

Cinco de Mayo

2010-03-07T19:55:00.003-07:00

May 5th. That's the day I'm leaving for Utah. I don't think I could be more excited!
I got a job working at an LDS girls' camp for the summer, and I am unbelievably stoked! I really feel like I have a purpose to fulfill at this camp and am already being spiritually prepared for it. I love when you know you're doing what God wants you to do and are going where he wants you to go, and that feeling has come stronger than anything this weekend. I love my life.

This week is spring break, and you know what I'm doing? Writing a 20 page paper about pornography. And I'm actually excited about it. Maybe I should clarify... I'm writing about the detrimental effects of pornography on individuals and families. I had to give one presentation on my topic already and I'll make another one next month after I'm done with the paper. And for the record only a few people in my class agreed with me that pornography is harmful. Its times like these that I wish I was doing my undergrad at BYU where I'd like to think most would agree. But who knows, maybe my research will help at least one person in my class make better decisions and give up something that can destroy them.
And, if its any consolation to me... I didn't do my undergrad at BYU but I sure as pie will be doing my grad work there! Can I get a WOOT WOOT!!!

I have a lot of random wonderful thoughts flowing through my head today, but instead of burning you out on my ramblings all at once I'll write them down and share them a little at a time.
I would like to add however, that the bitter of the bitter-sweetness of moving out west has begun to set in. Being home for break it has started to sink in that I'm leaving this place that is so dear to my heart. But I'll expand on that more at a later date.

A Little Late

2010-03-06T14:35:00.005-07:00

But TOTALLY worth the wait.....

I laughed for about half an hour after seeing these. I LOVE these kids!

Best. Day. EVER!

2010-02-24T18:46:00.004-07:00

I boldly declare:

Dreams do come true :)

Corny I know, but I got a call today informing me that I GOT ACCEPTED INTO BYU FOR GRAD SCHOOL!!!!!!! (Notice the blue for Cougar spirit) If you don't know me or haven't read my blog before, this has been what I've wanted and thought about nonstop for a very long time. The prayers, fasts, and hopes of SO MANY people went into this. I still am a little shocked and it hasn't completely hit me that I will be moving to Utah in 69 days. Seriously, best news of my life!!!

Over the past week I've had a lot of good learning moments and I've tried really hard to have the full attitude that I will go where ever Heavenly Father wants me to be. And for once, where he wants me is also my first pick of where to be. I cannot explain how happy I am right now. My life is AWESOME!!!!!

Also, I got some pretty SWEET news from one of my professors today that was just the icing on the cake.

I'm going to be a Marriage and Family Therapist and I'm going to BYU to learn how to be one! I don't think this statement is going to get old for quite some time. I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!

Smiles

2010-02-10T14:16:00.006-07:00

My classes are cancelled for tonight because of the weather so I was done by 3:15! And I'm as happy as an elementary school child who gets the whole day off to make snow men with the neighborhood kids. I love snow!
Just thought I'd share the joy! :)

Gotta See It

2010-02-09T09:14:00.007-07:00

A very special movie aired this weekend for the second time on CBS. If you have or know someone who has Tourette's/Tic Disorder(that's me!) you should see this movie. It will change your life!

Its about a man named Brad Cohen who wants to be a teacher and also happens to have Tourette Syndrome. It goes through his story as a kid with Tourette's and finally figuring out why he was moving and making noises and couldn't help it. And it takes you through his journey of trying to find a job as a teacher while almost everywhere turns him down because they don't think he can teach while he tics like he does.

Jimmy Wolk and Dominic Scott Kay who both play Brad in the movie (one as an adult one as a child) are both FANTASTIC actors! They did an awesome job at showing what tics are really like. It was amazing and extremely accurate.

I love that this movie showed that tics don't have to hold you back. We're normal, we just happen to tic. So what? We can do anything anyone else can :)

I cried in the first 10 minutes and the entire rest of the movie. I already ordered it on DVD and the book. And it aired at the perfect time for me. Recently I've had a couple instances where people were questioning my ability to be a counselor/therapist with Tic Disorder. Of course I assured them that it hasn't caused me a problem so far, and I didn't think it would in the future. But afterwards it made me question myself, and think, "Do they have a point? Is this hindering things and I don't let myself acknowledge it?" Brad Cohen's story reminded me, I'm not doing as well as I am despite of Tic Disorder, I'm doing as well as I am because of it(a corny yet true modified line from the movie).

Check out this movie! And if you want to know more about Tourette's, Tic Disorder, Brad Cohen, or the movie, I posted some links on the right side of my blog. Have at it.

This Has Been...

2010-02-07T15:37:00.002-07:00

...The longest week of my life. Waiting to find out where I'm going to be living in 85 days is a nail biter. I can't focus on anything longer than 10 minutes because I get sidetracked fantasizing about and hoping for Utah. Hopefully I'll find out sometime this week and the anticipation can be put to rest. Of course then there's Oakcrest :)

I Heart Happy Valley

2010-02-03T16:11:00.005-07:00

I spent last weekend in wonderful Utah. And it was... wonderful. The amazing Dudleys let me stay with them and lugged me all over Salt Lake. Basically, they are fantastic. While in Provo I spent tons of fun time with Brittany and Chelsey, two friends from my home stake. We stayed up late talking about life, and boys, and giggling our little hearts out. Oh how I miss them already.
While I was in Utah I went to my first BYU basketball. It was quite exciting.

And I had my interviews for BYU and Oakcrest. And let me say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who was praying for me during those interviews. Quite a few people have let me know they were thinking of me. I felt the love. Thanks. I think both interviews went well. All I can say is I was totally myself. We'll see how things turn out. Wish me luck!

P.S. This Saturday (February 6th) there is a movie on CBS about a teacher with Tourette's. You should check it out. I know I will :)

Holy Smokes!

2010-01-26T14:36:00.001-07:00

I leave for UTAH in LESS THAN 72 HOURS!!! I can't believe its almost here!

WAFFLES

2010-01-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

Through certain happenings I ended up with a waffle iron for Christmas. Which I L.O.V.E.

A couple weeks ago I made my first batch!

The first one is always the scariest.

Jeremy tries...

And he approves! Success!

Let the Countdown Begin!

2010-01-21T08:00:00.001-07:00

As of 10:00 this morning I have exactly 100 days until graduation!!!!!! And to commemorate this event I made a paper chain. Every link is different and individual with different sizes, shapes, colors, and designs. Like people. And there's 100 of them left. I also added a LOVELY countdown clock to the side------->
Check it out. (Just ignore the ads).

Also, I think this calls for 100 exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Happenin' s

2010-01-20T18:16:00.006-07:00

Just to give you an update... My life is GREAT! I LOVE my classes and they are going to be so helpful! I'm interning with the Juvenile Court Probate Office in the county where I go to school and I LOVE it! I get to go into homes, and not deal one on one with offenders, but observe while my supervisor does. Its awesome. I'm learning so much and I love the experience I'm getting.

BIG NEWS........

Are you ready......?

I got and interview with BYU for grad school!!!!!! So, next week..... Utah here I come! Woot woot! And the camp I applied to work at for the summer is also going to interview me the same weekend while I'm out there! Can you believe it? My life is AWESOME! So we'll see how both of those interviews go. I'll give you an update later and let you know the results of both of them. It could be really good, or not so good. We shall see. The next week will be filled with tons of prayer(more like pleading :)) and lots of reading and pondering.

But, I just wanted to let everyone how much I'm lovin' my LAST semester of my bachelor's degree! And... the other day... I found my first gray hair. It was fantastic.

P.S. This post is filled with lots of ....s for suspense purposes. Sorry if it got annoying.

Comfort

2010-01-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes what you need at the end of a long day is an unmade bed. A bed with all the imprints and crevices left from the night before with the perfect spot for you to fit into for the best night's sleep.

You've Got The Idea

2010-01-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

I found this in Hershey, PA. That's my kind of knick knack!

Hmmm....

2010-01-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

Check this out...

Here's the "mini park"
A patio :)

Road trip!

2010-01-07T20:53:00.017-07:00

It was a WHIRLWIND Christmas break, over which I conquered my first road trip with my old roommate Andrea! We stopped at Big Muskie's Bucket's, Pittsburgh, State College, and Hershey, PA!!!!!! It was a blast!

Have you ever seen a bulldozer bucket THIS BIG!!!!

We went to the Mattress Factory in Pittsburgh. Its a mattress warehouse that was converted into an art gallery. It was the creepiest place I've been in a long time. I wouldn't recommend it.

I fell in love with downtown Pittsburgh and its lovely little shops and extremely friendly people.

We also made a pit stop at the National Aviary where the birds seemed to like me as their personal toilet. If you know what I mean....

Then to the town that smells like Chocolate! Hershey, PA!

And for some reason we decided to do all of this in December and got snowed in!

After the trip I enjoyed a couple weeks full of family, fun, sickness, an indoor water park, Christmas magic, tons of food, and relaxation. It was nice to get a break and do NOTHING! Now its back to school, back to work. I started my internship this week and I really like it so far. Its going to be an intense semester. One more left! I think its time to do a graduation countdown!

Whew!

2009-12-16T10:16:00.002-07:00

With grades officially in the semester is over! And I survived :) That seems to be a reoccurring event. ONE more semester and then I graduate!!!!

My application to BYU graduate studies is officially in and I'm sending out my application to work at Oakcrest tomorrow. If all goes well, I will be moving out to Utah the first week of May right after graduation. However, we all know how things turn out when we plan :) I just have to wait and see if I get accepted to either! If not, I'll be living back home and going to a school near there. But, I can't say enough how much I want to be at Oakcrest and BYU. I hope it happens. We'll see. Wish me luck!

Now that I'm on break I'm going to enjoy it! I've got some online schoolwork to do, but nothing can stand in my way! Last weekend I had an amazing visit with Eliza and this weekend I'm off to PA! Hershey, here I come! I'm pretty excited! Life is good.

P.S. This is my 50th post! Hurray!

Memories

2009-12-15T22:36:00.002-07:00

The other day I got to thinking.... What ever happened to these guys??

Bananas in Pajamas were my FAVORITE back in the day.

One of These Things...

2009-12-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

Is not like the others.
When we were decorating for Christmas my mom arranged the nativity in a lovely arrangement. A few minutes later my dad made an addition :)

Fame

2009-12-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

Over Halloween I happened to meet the very famous Hannah Montana and her good friend Lola. It. Was. Awesome.

Cookie Paluza Extravaganza!

2009-12-07T06:00:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago my roommate noticed I had 101 cookie cutters in a box that had never been opened. We needed a solution to this problem so what better solution than have a Cookie Paluza Extravaganza to use them ALL!?

I know what you're thinking. What party doesn't end with someone on top of the fridge? The cookies told a very specific story. That night I laughed so hard I had a stomach ache. Or maybe that was the 101 cookies :)

Next up on the adventure list. ELIZA. Then Hershey PA! Life is good.

Experimentation

2009-12-05T09:17:00.001-07:00

I'm trying out some new color schemes. I'm going to experiment before I make any long term decisions, so things may be changing around here quite often. We'll see how it goes. This could take a while.

I'm BACK!!!!!

2009-11-23T11:14:00.002-07:00

As you can see from my last post, I've been in a weird funk the past month or so.
But after certain events this weekend I feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders. I walked into my roommates room and stated "Life is wonderful!" She responded with a smile and said, "You're back." I am! I'm back and better than ever! I love life again!
Is my life perfect? Nope. But who cares?!?! Its marvelous none the less.

A word to the wise: If there's something you feel like you should do, don't avoid it or put off. DO IT! You'll be glad you did :)

One of Those Days

2009-11-19T05:29:00.004-07:00

Do you ever have those days where you just want to crawl in a hole and go to sleep for at least 72 hours. That's today. And yesterday. And pretty much everyday the past week. Its just one of those times when there is so much stress and so much pressure you just want to quit life. Just for a little while anyways.

I know my life is good. I am extremely blessed and I should have nothing to complain about. Here it comes.... the BUT. But, I just feel like there is so much pressure on me! Most, if not all of which I put on myself. And even though I know I'm not, I just feel alone.

I've decided, I want 6 full months. I want 6 months to have no responsibilities besides church, to sit in bed for as long as I want and read a millions books on my To-Read list, to get on a plane and fly where ever I want, to sit outside to smell the air and be calm, to write in my journal, to read my scriptures, to make my clothes fit again, to have time to plan and prepare wonderful meals, and to RUN and RUN and RUN. That's what I want. 6 months.

I just needed to get that off my chest. Sorry for the downer post. I hope I didn't depress you too much. By the way, I have to say thanks to my wonderful dad who is coming to give me a running car today. He is a life saver! He always has my back. Thanks dad!

Next week is Thanksgiving! Hopefully I'll have a much happier post after that glorious school(but not homework) free weekend.

Winding Down

2009-11-17T19:00:00.002-07:00

3 1/2 weeks left in the semester!!!!!! 10 official days of class. 1 annotated bibliography, 1 12 page paper, 2 quizzes, 9ish chapters to read, 2 1 page papers, tons of music theory stuff, and 8 exams to go. And I have no motivation to do any of it!!!!! Instead of doing my homework, I'm blogging. The joys of the Internet.

I can do it.... just click log out and go to the library website...... anyone up for a movie instead? :)

Any motivational thoughts would be much appreciated right now :)

Gangsta'

2009-11-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

I never knew I was related to a gangsta'. Ella came upstairs a few weeks ago sporting a backwards hat and giant slippers. She excitedly stated in a deep voice, "Yo dudes. Sup man."
A toothless gangster. Who would have pictured it?

I love this little girl!

In Case You Were Wondering...

2009-11-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

I'm AWESOME at bowling!!!!!

There's No Place Like Home

2009-10-30T06:00:00.001-06:00

Every time I see this sign it warms my heart. The reason: Home Avenue takes me to MY home! What a coincidence!

There really is no place like home.

Sorry Boys

2009-10-27T15:10:00.015-06:00

My heart was stolen 4 years ago by some fierce competition, and I haven't gotten it back yet.

Check out THESE heartthrobs:

Cute AND Wise? That's what I call a whole package!

A Ninja to protect me and draw me pictures? Doesn't get much better than that!

A STUD that will take me to the beach? Sign me up!

And a man who loves outdoor adventures? That's my kind of guy!

To any boys who are currently or may in the future be interested in me:

As you can plainly see, you've got your work cut out for you trying to top THAT! I don't envy you.

High/Low

2009-10-15T21:23:00.005-06:00

So, I think I'm just going to do random 5 minute posts for a while until my schedule calms down. But I just wanted to say, its amazingly wonderful how much professors are willing to help me cut corners to graduate in May. Its fantastic! And I'm so grateful.

And figuring out my schedule for next semester, I'm actually going to have time to breathe starting in January! Yay for 18 credit hours!!!! And the past couple of days have been excellent and perfect in pretty much every way for no particular reason.

But as a side note, tonight in the car on the way home from institute I told the girls some funny stories about my family, and I'm sure they were looking at me like I was crazy as I'm trying to drive and can't breathe because I'm laughing so hard. Of course I'm the only one laughing. And as a result, I miss my family! I miss my mommy! And I'm perfectly okay with admitting that fact. I can't wait til Christmas when we're all together again. Christmas?!?! Its too far away! Hooray for next weekend when I get to go home and see my parents, 2 sibs, 2 nephews, and 1 niece full of attitude!

Recommendations

2009-10-09T10:32:00.003-06:00

Its been a while since I've had time to post, but I wanted to take a minute and make a good book/story recommendation. A book I'm reading for my Cognitive Neuroscience class is called An Anthropologist on Mars by Oliver Sacks. That entire sentence is not as boring as it sounds. Its a book with various case studies of people with neurological disorders. The story A Surgeon's Life on pages 77-107 is very worth reading. Its about a surgeon with Tourettes. If you want to understand the life of people with Tourettes better, I think this is a good place to start :)

Hopefully I'll find the time to update you on my marvelous life soon. Until then.

How I Survive College

2009-09-19T08:25:00.010-06:00

As I've mentioned before this is a crazy semester! I have been pretty stressed lately with everything to get done and all the information to soak up. So I decided to survive this semester(my second to last as an undergrad!) I am going to have ridiculous amounts of fun on the weekends (except for the ones when I'm behind on homework, like this weekend). Here's an update on the FUN!!!!!!!

Andrea (my previous roommate and one of my best friends) came for a visit my first ultra fun weekend. Lauren is on the left. She is my current roommate and also happens to be one of Andrea's former roommates.

We laughed, and sang, and laughed, and played games, and laughed, and stayed up late, and laughed and laughed and laughed. It was wonderful.

Over Labor Day weekend I spent Saturday through Monday with Eliza (also one of my best friends)!!!! We spent the weekend doing things I had never had the privilege in my sheltered life to do. Such as.....

Eating at Chipotle....

Playing mini-golf......

Watching Sleeping Beauty, playing tons of new board/card games and having tons and tons of fun(I have done that before). It was delightful.

Then, last weekend Andrea came for another fantastic visit and we went CAMPING! I happen to really like camping. And we celebrated 2 of our friends' birthdays.

All in all, this is shaping up to be a fun, busy, but fun, semester. The only downside is that the two people(outside of family) at the core of my social life live 2 hours away, in opposite directions. Luckily I love traveling :)

Dear Meany Face

2009-09-09T11:30:00.001-06:00

Today at school someone keyed my car. If I could write a letter to the person who did this, it would go something like this:

Dear Meany Face,
Today you keyed my car. I was already having a bad day, and upon my release from class, I was looking forward to going home and eating a lunch and cheering myself up. Instead I came out to my car and CRIED. Someone should probably inform you that art work is for paper and canvases, not other people's property. I understand we all have frustration sometimes. I would suggest taking a bubble bath or talking it out with a good friend instead of ruining another person's day. So from now on, please leave my poor little car alone. It did nothing to you besides park next to you. And in case you were wondering, I reported you to the police. They may never find you, but whether they do or not I hope you learn a valuable lesson from all this. I know I did: Ride your bike to school from now on.

Thanks for the lesson.
-The girl whose car you keyed, and day you attempted to ruin

P.S. I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day anyways. That'll show you.
P.P.S. Sorry for calling you meany face.