Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I wish fall in Utah looked like fall in Ohio.

The brightest blessings come in the darkest of moments.

Sometimes I wish Tic Disorder didn't hurt so much.

There's too much good in my life to be sad.

Things I'm looking forward to right now:
Seeing my Oakcrest family
General conference
A dance/sleep in the living room with mattresses on the floor party with my roommates
A killer game of sardines this weekend.

Life is good.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Everybody, Everybody Wants to Be Loved

If you can't tell yet, there is and Ingrid Michaelson song for everything in my life.

Last week I was talking with a friend and he mentioned how we all have the basic need to be loved and we sometimes do crazy things to fulfill that need. That got me thinking.

Since I moved to Utah I have been void of almost all my close friends and my family. I realized I have been doing what I consider pretty crazy things to fill that void and to feel loved. So here's what I've learned about that. It is good to have "significant other" at some point to fill some of that need to be loved. But right now, my family loves me, and I have so many friends that love me. Even though most are far away, that should be enough. But, it's not.

The gap left over needs to be filled with the love Heavenly Father and the Savior offer. I need to develop my relationship with deity better and get myself in a place where I can allow Christ's love to come into my life and fill in all the empty spaces, instead of the few I'm letting him fill right now.

During this process, love freely. It's what will get you the love you need from the people in your life and from the man upstairs. If you know me well, you know when I love something I love it completely. So when that thing or person is gone, it's tough and hurts a lot. And as I've mentioned I've had a lot of things leave my life in the past 5 months. I think that's keeping me from loving as completely as I usually do. Don't do that. Don't follow my example. Love, love, love.

Life is great. The gospel is great. You are great.

I'm happy where I am. It's been difficult to get to that point (mainly because I'm not a fan of Utah. My heart is in the Midwest), and it's truer some days than others, but I'm happy. And God loves me. What more could I ask for?

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Treasures of Old

I love going through old stuff and finding things from the good old days.

Oh, to be young again.

Yes, I Am Alive

Wondering where I've been the past 3 months? I'll tell you.

I finished Oakcrest. Leaving that place may have been more bitter than leaving my home. I still feel weird introducing myself as Miranda. After Oakcrest was over somethings happened that really got me in a funk. A couple weeks later, we had a meeting and I got to see some of my favorite 2010 staff. After that, life was good again. There's something about being Goldielocks and seeing the people I love and grew so much with that just makes me happy and makes everything in life, no matter how confusing or sad, good. I miss it every day.

I also got to go home! I saw Ellas, and Prestons, and Brennens, and pregnant sisters, and parents, and old friends. It was wonderful.

So now for the latest...... I started GRAD SCHOOL. Yep, grad school. Yep, BYU! Yep, the thing that will be the death of me. Yep, reading more pages than my brain can hold. Yep, staying up til the wee hours of the night trying to remember what I'm reading. Yep, having no social life. Yep, helping people make their relationships and families better and helping to fulfill the plan of salvation. I don't think grad school cold have a better pay off than that.

I LOVE my program. I really like my cohort and I think although it is going to be tough I'm going to grow a lot and it's going to be great.

In other news... I was SO blessed with the roommates I got for the year. They are the nicest. And they're clean, and go to bed early, and don't watch much TV. Could I be any luckier?! They are perfect for me! It is going to be a great year.

On a different note the past three months have been filled with a lot of heart break for me. I have had things, places, situations, and people taken out of my life that I really wish were still there. It's been rough. However, I would like to say a little something about healing. The very first day of one of my classes the first thing the professor said was something to the likes of "I want to be very clear where healing comes from. It does not come from me as a therapist and therapy only facilitates it. Healing is a divine gift. It is a gift from Deity." I know that to be true.

Sometimes things happen in life that we don't understand, and are just difficult and we don't know how to fix it. We want to do something to ease our pain but we don't know how. I've learned time and time again, if I know how to do nothing else but pray and keep the commandments, I know enough. When we strive to keep the commandments and develop a stronger relationship with our Father in Heaven and Savior, no matter what is going on in life, we will feel the healing power of the atonement come into our lives and heal our wounded heart. We can feel peace and happiness amidst the junk going on around us. I've really had to apply that the past few months. And it's been great.

Here's to a happy fall!