My cup still runneth over. It might be running over with tears right now, but either way it still is full to the brim.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
My cup still runneth over. It might be running over with tears right now, but either way it still is full to the brim.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Something has happened. Something big.
If you have ever heard the word Oakcrest come from my lips you know that it is an LDS girls' camp and a place that I love with all of my heart. Well friends,
I'm going to Oakcrest!!!!!!!!!!!
I worked there summer of 2010 as a counselor and am now going to be one of the Assistant Directors for 2012. I am SO excited, if you can't tell. When I got the call I may have been speaking relatively calmly, but little did the person on the other line know that my body was jumping up and down and dancing around my apartment.
And, so as not to reveal the identity of the director if she does not want to be revealed, I just want to say this: When I walked into interviews and saw who the director for 2012 is, I literally teared up with happiness and excitement. I am so blessed to serve in the directorship with someone who I look up to, and consider one of my very best friends from Oakcrest. She is amazing. This is going to be great. I don't know the other 2 members of the directorship yet, but judging by facebook stalking, I think its going to be a fantastic 9 months between now and the end of camp.
This is going to be a summer of miracles.
And after that, I'm going on a mission. MY LIFE!! My smile couldn't be bigger.
Goldielocks (Yep I get to be Goldielocks again! Woot!)
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
I'm going on a mission!!!!
In my church we have these things called missions. If you serve a mission, and you're a girl you go somewhere in the world and teach about the gospel for 18 months. At age 21 this becomes an option for girls if we want it. And I do. And it feels right. So I'm doing it!
So there you have it. Next summer I turn 21 and I'll put in my availability date for shortly thereafter. It's happening. Get ready for it.
Also, I got my response from Teach for America today. REJECTION! Just another confirmation that I'm making the right decision. And, PhD application deadlines are coming up. Naturally, I'm not applying because, I'm going on a mission. So, once those deadlines pass, I will officially have no other options for next year. Except get a job. And we all know that is NOT going to happen :)
Therefore, not applying to PhD programs is me fully committing myself to serving a mission. Happy future :)
Friday, November 4, 2011
And I'm surprised. But I'm excited.
Stay tuned for the decision. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for the big reveal yet. But if you are someone I see or talk to during a normal week, I've probably already told you. We all know how I'm awesome at keeping other people's secret but awful at keeping my own. But, I don't think I'm ready for an announcement yet. I am still waiting for it to sink in with me.
There is so much love in my life right now. In the words of Edwin McCain and later Sara Evans: I could not ask for more.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I love ducks. The end.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
I AM GRADUATING IN LESS THAN 7 MONTHS!!! WHAT?!?!
It seems like 2 years is "my time." When I left home I spent 2 years in Portsmouth, and now 2 years here. My next stop will also probably be around 2 years. But we'll see!
And oh what to see! I applied to Teach for America!!! I had an interview last week. I find out November 8th if I got in, and if I did get in, where I will be assigned to teach. Scary? Yes. Also, I'm applying to go to Ukraine next fall with my dear friend Giggles. And depending on what happens with Teach for America, I might be applying to PhD programs soon. Ah!!!! My future is here! Where I will be next fall? I have no clue. But I am excited for a new adventure.
And boys (insert giggle). Who ever actually knows what is happening in their own love life? Your guess is as good as mine. But, I like boys :)
My heart is full, and my cup runneth over.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
In the meantime, I've discovered some new blogs lately that I really like. For a laugh click here.
To see some hopes and dreams click here.
Have a nice laugh.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
And we ran through sprinklers, And built castles,
And read books, And took a ride on the polar express, And played the day away.
Best birthday week, ever.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Teach for America is one of the things on my after graduation possibilities list. That and a mission are at the very top of the list. And I could go back to Appalachia and help in the work that I love so much. But, if the big man upstairs has something else in store for me, or has a different TFA region I need to be in, I'm just happy to know they are in the region I love with the children I love.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
But here's my idea. If I publicize the extent of my patheticness and the far reachingness of my creeperism, it makes both of those things ok. Right? :) Well, correct or not, you're about to read my story.
So I've never really liked a boy that didn't like me back. (I know, I've been lucky, or just conservative with my crushes). This was true until three months ago. Then the rejection began. Don't worry. There was no awkwardness. Just the realization that he doesn't know how AWESOME I am.
Since then, it's been weird. I found out, via facebook (hence the creeperism listed above) and a couple close friends that 1 of my ex-boyfriends is getting married, and 2 are moving in that direction very very quickly. Really? All 3 of these guys wanted to marry me at some point, but for one reason or another things didn't work out and now they all want to marry someone else. Honestly, its normal and that's the way life happens, but it stings a little. And I'm willing to admit that.
I think there's something inside of all of us, that no matter how long its been since we were with someone, there's this need to say "Hey, my life is awesome. And you're not a part of it." Something in us wants to show that we're good without them. We wish them the best, but secretly hope that when we run into them we will be able to say things about our lives that will make them think for a minute. What's that you say? You don't think these things. Oh. Me neither. (Head down in embarrassment).
So I have a confession. You know Miranda who is really independent and has a hard time really letting people in because of it? You know Miranda that loves being single and free? You know Miranda that wants to travel the world, and save the children, and do tons of amazing things? Well, Miranda also has developed a secret desire. I'm embarrassed to say it, but here it is: I think I actually want a relationship and even to get married someday. I don't know why I'm embarrassed. Getting married has always been a part of my plan eventually. Maybe my feminist roots have just dug down too deep.
So there you have it folks, my deepest darkest secret. I want a relationship. And I like a boy. Those words are like vinegar on the tongue, but they're true. I hate that I want this because I feel like I'm turning my back on the things I could do (even though I know being a mom is the best thing I could possibly do). But on a larger, and more shallow scale, I hate it because its typical. And I hate being typical.
So until I have this relationship that I not-so-secretly anymore would like to have, I plan to continue living my single and carefree life (except for the whole grad school and therapist thing).
Shame, you just got attacked! Take that!
I LOVE SHAME ATTACKS.
A couple weeks ago I told a boy I liked him as a shame attack. It was fun.
But here's the deal. The reason why I explain the concept of shame attacks is because, I'm going to use my blog as an opportunity for shame attacks. I'm going to talk about things that I usually would be too afraid to talk about. Get ready to hear some embarrassing stuff. Its gonna be great. And by the end of the summer, hopefully I'll be next to shameless. Like old people in the locker room at the gym. No shame. Let me tell you.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
As soon as I saw last years staff members I started to cry. And a few of them cried when they saw me. It made me happy. I just can't explain the love I feel surrounding Oakcrest!
Here are some pictures from the adventure:
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
And congrats to me, I reduced my stuff and gave away 3 trash bags to DI. It is a proud day for Miranda.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
It's so weird to see on facebook (of course my source for all social information) that at least 15 people I knew from high school already have kids, and at least 10 are married or engaged. My guy friends are coming home from their missions, and my girl friends are preparing to leave.
Since the end of Oakcrest last summer, 2 of the staff have gotten engaged or married, and 3 of them are leaving for missions in the fall. CRAZY! Its weird to see all of the stuff I've planned for happening around me! I still have a year to wait before my mission plans might come to life (depending on what life has in store for me), but my friends are already doing it. I love it. I'm so excited for all of them. I can't believe we are already here. Woot!
P.S. One of my professors helped in developing this relationship readiness scale for single people. When I took it last night, it said I block myself from really connecting with people (meaning potential romantic partners) because I'm not willing to give up my independence to commit to a relationship. Hehe. Sound about right?
Saturday, May 21, 2011
So do you remember my biggest reason for coming to BYU for grad school? Well, to refresh your memory, I was so excited to be immature and have fun and be the goofball that has always been inside of me, that was shamed every time it got out. So, when I moved here, instead of doing the things I came here to do, I got into "grad school mode." Being in grad school, and being a therapist made me think for some reason I had to live the "mature" life with quiet, studious roommates, my own room, covered parking, and all the other "perks" you get being "old and mature." I think one of the reasons I chose to live in the past 2 places I've lived is because I was afraid of people who know me in an academic and professional setting, judging me and thinking that living like an undergrad means I'm not serious about what I'm doing.
So about a month ago I thought, WHY? Why do I have to live like an old person? I came to BYU to do something that I haven't been doing. So, better late than never! I'm moving into an apartment with 5 other girls (2 in my room with me), 2 bathrooms, and 1 fridge. The ward will just be my building. And I plan to party it up!
Yes, I am a grad student. Yes, I am a therapist. Yes, I will be teaching a class at BYU in the fall (have I mentioned that yet? SO EXCITING). Yes, I live a life that by all means requires maturity and discipline. But guess what else? I ALSO AM 19 (almost 20)!!!! And its about time I be 19 with people who also want to be 19, and live a home life that consists of silliness and goofiness, and every part of me I have repressed for the past year. I'm stoked.
And in terms of the judgement of others, all the people I have told have responded opposite from what I expected. Usually I get a "It's about time." Only one person has been judgemental, but that's ok, some people just don't value being a kid as much as I do. And there's nothing wrong with that.
So here I go. Into the land of the undergrads! I'll have to give up some luxury. Like a washer and dryer, fridge space, assigned covered parking, and tons of storage space. But hey, I get to learn to use a laundry mat, scrape my windows (except I have remote start--Spoiled, yes), and become a space maximizer/minimalist.
My stuff is what is causing most of my anxiety. I'm going to have to part with a lot of things that I've held onto for a long while. I can get over my greed!!! Its only stuff! I can do this. Does anyone have the number for hoarders anonymous?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I caught it. That, added to the random body jerks (Tourette), I've been getting some pretty weird looks.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
To hundreds of late night outings.
Bethany's departure has triggered some reflection on my part. I moved to Provo a year ago, and a year from now, I'll probably be gone. Weird. It's already half way over. How did that happen? 1 year. That's it. That's all I have left. That's nothing! So here's to another year in Provo, and what it will bring. Hopefully it's lots of happiness and sunshine and FUN!
Monday, May 9, 2011
I feel like this everyday to some extent. And I love it. Each day is full of new things, and old for that matter, that are scary but exciting. And sometimes I fail, but some how I always stay afloat and keep kicking my feet. And I make it. And its great.
Sometimes I think, "How on Earth did I get here"? And then I remember the current that has pushed me along, getting me down the stream. Oh, life. How joyous and random and confusing you are. Thanks for the ride.
P.S. Today, I finally found the Pandora station MADE for ME. Dixie Chicks. Don't judge me.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I began to pick up the nails that landed on the floor. When I looked up I saw some shiny things resting on top of and in between the items of clothing hanging in the closet. So I shook out what I could and picked them up. Then I thought, "I wonder how many nails are still in the nooks and crannies of my clothing. In the folds, the wrinkles and otherwise." Then I thought, "Oh well, when I wear the clothes or move to another apartment they'll get pulled out." Then I thought, "Some of these clothes I may never wear again (let's be honest, we all have a large amount of clothes we never wear) and when I move I just grab full sections of clothes and pile them in the car, they never get separated." So then I thought, "I wonder how many of the nails that are stuck there now, will stay in the crevices of my clothing for years without me knowing it." Then I thought, "I wonder how many things this could apply to. Nails, crumbs, lint, strings, hairs, or anything else our clothing, bedding, books, backpacks or anything else might acquire in the nooks and crannies." We never notice them but we may take them across the country with us, and have them for very long periods of time.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Then they added the sibling spouses. As one by one the spouses came, I was pushed farther and farther to the side until I wound up on the end all by myself, behind one of my bros-in-law. Of course everyone giggled and they pulled me towards the middle so I didn't look so pitiful on the end. And in the background I heard my brother singing "One of these things is not like the others."
Friday, April 1, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Surprise! The past few weeks my tics have moved again. And they are all centered in my lovely head. I'm back to facial tics, and lots of them. And I have some major neck tics. I've never had tics where I've needed to bang the back of my head against something, so that has been a new experience. My poor roommates are probably going to get sick of the banging sound coming from my room. It seems as though the best way to relieve this tic is to sit on my bed with my back to the wall and hit against it. As you might imagine, my neck is tired and my head hurts.
Another surprise! I'm developing vocal tics. It started as an odd whimper and has turned into to some weird grunts and HAs.
On the plus side, my neck is going to get really strong.
So if you see me making faces at you, or hear me whimpering, just know that the dopamine in my brain is having a party. No worries.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
P.S. Tomorrow is interviews for next year's incoming master's applicants. I've been waiting for this day since I was in the same shoes this time last year. Can't wait to meet/torture/comfort/get them excited for the amazing journey grad school/MFT/other paths in life will take them on. Oh to claim experience. It's a good feeling.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
But I always remember, when Friday comes, I'll breathe again.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Disclaimer: This is a very long story. But, if you begin this story, you must read to the end or else, you will not leave happy.
Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived in Portsmouth, Ohio where she attended college. This little girl's days were filled with magic and happiness and she loved what she was doing and learning. However, even though the little girl was happy in Portsmouth, she dreamed of the day when she would get to go where she had always desired, Provo, Utah. Then one day she found out she would go where she always desired, and do wonderful things at a wonderful graduate school called BYU.
However, when the little girl moved to the wonderous place, her days were no longer filled with happiness and magic. She became sad and questioned everything she had wanted. Why wasn't it like she pictured? Why wasn't it as splendid as she imagined? She strongly disliked where she was. She strongly disliked what she was doing. And she strongly disliked some of the things she was learning. Did she pick the wrong career choice, or was something else at work?
For weeks the little girl tried to find the answer and sought happiness in all the places she had found it before in her life. But alas, no luck.
Then, one day, the little girl decided that she did not want to spend her days in Provo buying her time until she could leave as had been done in Portsmouth. She wanted to enjoy every minute of the experience and be so happy along the way. She wanted her life in Provo to be everything she had imagined it to be. So she worked very hard with a very important, yet unseen person in her life to know what to do. And guess what the result was. Lots and lots of SMILES and LOVE and HAPPINESS!!!!
I have been so blessed that things have turned around for me. Nothing has really changed in my circumstances. I'm still in the same program. I moved, but not far, and nothing is profoundly different about that. I'm still a student. I'm still giving therapy. Pretty much everything is the same. But things are happy now.
Want to know the secret? What has made the profound difference is the quality of my relationship with my Heavenly Father and the quality of my relationship with myself. I do not announce this to the world by any means to say how great or spiritual I am. I say it so you can know the fastest way to happiness that I have found. And you're welcome to steal my happiness finding techniques. In fact, please do.
A friend of mine once gave me some advice to ask the Lord for the greatest blessing He desires to give me right now. At the time, I didn't do what my friend had said, but this past week I got the feeling that I should. Not knowing what this gift might be, I asked for it. I didn't know what it was, but I knew it would come. Today, I was prompted to ask what it was, I did, and I was given the answer. You'll never guess. It was HAPPINESS!!!! The greatest gift my Heavenly Father has to give me right now, is me being happy where I am and with what I am doing RIGHT NOW. Not just in what the future holds. What a great blessing :)
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The race is May 7th so we have until then to raise $1000. Just think, maybe some day I'll be tic free and I'll be able to thank you because you helped find a cure.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
My first acceptance of being asked to homecoming in an amazingly cool way
If you can't tell these are a ton of letters which when arranged spell out, "You're Mr. Wright for homecoming night" (his last name is Wright. Clever, wright? :))
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
-Interned for Scioto County Juvenile Court
-Interviewed for grad school at BYU
-Got into grad school at BYU
-Interviewed for OAKCREST
-Got into OAKCREST
-Got the Psychology Major of the Year Award (not to brag or anything)
-Was given a new car by my awesome parents
-Moved to Provo
-Served my heart out for 10 weeks in the most wonderful place on Earth AKA Oakcrest
-Started grad school
-Moved within Provo
-Survived my first semester of grad school
-Started seeing clients (yea, I give therapy! Can you believe it?)
-Had the most heart wrenching moments and moments of despair I've ever had in my life
-Had the most joyful, uplifting, hopeful, happy, and sacred moments of my life
It's been an unbelievable year. A year ago I was planning and hoping to do almost all the things on this list, but I had no idea the journey these things would take me on. The ups and downs, the highs and lows, the love and the pain, the amazing friendships I've developed, the hearts I've touched, and more importantly the hearts that have touched mine. This sounds a little extreme but this year was extreme for me. I had no idea what it would be. But looking back, I love what 2010 has taught me and made me.
Here's to a great 2011!