Some Days

Some days are just the pits. It happens.

Today I got some news that made my night the pits. My perfectly laid life plan might have a pretty big detour. I still have yet to hear the official word though, so we'll see.

It's times like these when we get to remember, sometimes our hearts are broken because they're not big enough to hold all the wonderful things a loving Heavenly Father has to give us. He has to break our hearts to make some extra room for bigger and better things.

My cup still runneth over. It might be running over with tears right now, but either way it still is full to the brim.

Oh the Excitement!

Dear everyone that I know and love,

Something has happened. Something big.
If you have ever heard the word Oakcrest come from my lips you know that it is an LDS girls' camp and a place that I love with all of my heart. Well friends,

I'm going to Oakcrest!!!!!!!!!!!

(again)

I worked there summer of 2010 as a counselor and am now going to be one of the Assistant Directors for 2012. I am SO excited, if you can't tell. When I got the call I may have been speaking relatively calmly, but little did the person on the other line know that my body was jumping up and down and dancing around my apartment.

And, so as not to reveal the identity of the director if she does not want to be revealed, I just want to say this: When I walked into interviews and saw who the director for 2012 is, I literally teared up with happiness and excitement. I am so blessed to serve in the directorship with someone who I look up to, and consider one of my very best friends from Oakcrest. She is amazing. This is going to be great. I don't know the other 2 members of the directorship yet, but judging by facebook stalking, I think its going to be a fantastic 9 months between now and the end of camp.

This is going to be a summer of miracles.

And after that, I'm going on a mission. MY LIFE!! My smile couldn't be bigger.

Love,
Goldielocks (Yep I get to be Goldielocks again! Woot!)

Ok, Are You Ready?

I'm ready... the decision is:

I'm going on a mission!!!!

In my church we have these things called missions. If you serve a mission, and you're a girl you go somewhere in the world and teach about the gospel for 18 months. At age 21 this becomes an option for girls if we want it. And I do. And it feels right. So I'm doing it!

So there you have it. Next summer I turn 21 and I'll put in my availability date for shortly thereafter. It's happening. Get ready for it.

Also, I got my response from Teach for America today. REJECTION! Just another confirmation that I'm making the right decision. And, PhD application deadlines are coming up. Naturally, I'm not applying because, I'm going on a mission. So, once those deadlines pass, I will officially have no other options for next year. Except get a job. And we all know that is NOT going to happen :)
Therefore, not applying to PhD programs is me fully committing myself to serving a mission. Happy future :)

And the Verdict Is....

Remember how I was trying to apply to and decide between all of the amazing things I could next fall? Well...

A decision has been made.

And it feels great.

And I'm surprised. But I'm excited.

Stay tuned for the decision. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for the big reveal yet. But if you are someone I see or talk to during a normal week, I've probably already told you. We all know how I'm awesome at keeping other people's secret but awful at keeping my own. But, I don't think I'm ready for an announcement yet. I am still waiting for it to sink in with me.

There is so much love in my life right now. In the words of Edwin McCain and later Sara Evans: I could not ask for more.

Happy Happy

When I went on a road trip to California over the summer we took tons of snacks of course. One of these snacks were cookies. At one point I pulled out a cookie and this is what I saw:In the most unlikely places.

Halloween Time

This is what we do in my apartment when we have a broken chair and spare time. Look how cute these guys are!

It's Alive!

I have a terrible problem keeping plants alive. BUT I have had this one for almost a year! I wanted to share this glorious accomplishment with you. It's alive! It might not be completely happy as you might see from the leaves, but it is alive and that is all that matters. Woot!

Tender

The other day my roommate and I went running. We stopped by a duck pond along the route. There was one duck all on its lonesome that wasn't in the water. I decided to approach. He ran. So, I started talking to him from afar and laying on heavy the compliments. It let me get close enough to ALMOST touch it. So close!

Then my roommate and I had to depart. I said my farewells and started to walk away. The duck followed. I stopped. It stopped. I ran, it ran. I think I made too deep of a friendship too quick. Life lesson anyone? But, now I have a friend I can visit, but I have to make sure it doesn't follow me home next time.
I love ducks. The end.

SO much LIFE!

Life is SO good I can't even describe it. But I'll try

First off, my apartment is fantastic. The girls I'm living with this year are great. We are all so different but mesh wonderfully. In the two months since school started we have already laughed together, cried together, laughed together, laughed together (yep, we laugh that much) and they have helped me through some of the most painful growing experience I've had. I can't rave about these girls enough. To give you a picture (literally).Yep. That's us (minus one).

I AM GRADUATING IN LESS THAN 7 MONTHS!!! WHAT?!?!

I wanted to come to BYU for such a long time, and now its almost over. Granted I have 7ish months left. But its weird to think that all of this will be gone soon. But, I am grateful for my talent to sink my roots in deep even if it is only for a little while.
It seems like 2 years is "my time." When I left home I spent 2 years in Portsmouth, and now 2 years here. My next stop will also probably be around 2 years. But we'll see!

And oh what to see! I applied to Teach for America!!! I had an interview last week. I find out November 8th if I got in, and if I did get in, where I will be assigned to teach. Scary? Yes. Also, I'm applying to go to Ukraine next fall with my dear friend Giggles. And depending on what happens with Teach for America, I might be applying to PhD programs soon. Ah!!!! My future is here! Where I will be next fall? I have no clue. But I am excited for a new adventure.

And boys (insert giggle). Who ever actually knows what is happening in their own love life? Your guess is as good as mine. But, I like boys :)

I am bursting with gratitude, excitement, anticipation, nervousness, and joy.
My heart is full, and my cup runneth over.

Hey hey!

It's been a while. Honestly, I haven't had much to write. My life has been full of therapy stuff and personal growth. And I brag about my awesomeness enough that it feels inappropriate to brag about the times I'm becoming even more awesome. But, we'll talk soon.

In the meantime, I've discovered some new blogs lately that I really like. For a laugh click here.
To see some hopes and dreams click here.
Have a nice laugh.

My Day

Thursday was my day. Actually beginning Wednesday night through Friday was my 2 days.

In case you haven't heard. I had a birthday. That's right. I can no longer claim I am a teenager in grad school. I just lost 10 notches of my coolness factor.

The celebration began Wednesday night. I get home from work and my apartment door is locked. I know some of my roommates were home so a red flag goes up. I put my key in, turn, and nothing happens. I take my key out, try again, and nothing. Then, all of a sudden the door FLINGS open and my head gets covered with a blanket! I am thrown into a car and told not to ask questions, or my sister Mallory Maloney will get it (my roommates really like my sister's married name). So we drive around for a while, and my kidnappers take a few wrong turns, get a few phone calls, and then the car stops. I am taken out and led into a building where I hear dishes clinking and people talking. The hands are taken from my eyes and I see my roommates and few of our close friends at IHOP.

I have the best roommates.

The next day (Thursday, my actual birthday) I stayed in bed til noon. What a luxury. When I got home from work the PARTY began. I had a cake with sparklers on it, we made a beautiful work of art, got COVERED in paint, and ran around the neighborhood until we found sprinklers to run through. Then, we topped it all off with a birthday cake that looked like a hot air balloon! Cool? I think yes. Here is the eye witness account: Then Friday rolled around and it was time to see my family!!! Or at least 4 members of it.

And we ran through sprinklers, And built castles,
And read books, And took a ride on the polar express, And played the day away.
Best birthday week, ever.

TFA

Most of you who know me know that I believe in Teach for America with all my heart. If you don't know what Teach for America is, go here. Today I found out that as of the 2011-2012 school year TFA will have an Appalachian region. I'M SO EXCITED!!!! Reasons? These:

1. I love Teach for America

2. I love Appalachia

3. Appalachia has areas of intense poverty and TFA is needed there greatly

4. When my sister lived in Portsmouth (outskirts of Appalachia) she fell in love with the cause of saving the children.

5. When I moved to Portsmouth, I caught the bug and too developed a deep desire to save the Appalachian children.

6. When I worked for juvenile court, that desire intensified even more.

TFA is going to save the children of the Appalachian area one child at a time! I'm so excited for even the few children they will reach to be given the knowledge and skills they need to improve their lives and know that they don't have to live in poverty forever. Most of all, I'm excited for the Appalachian children to know they're worth it.

Teach for America is one of the things on my after graduation possibilities list. That and a mission are at the very top of the list. And I could go back to Appalachia and help in the work that I love so much. But, if the big man upstairs has something else in store for me, or has a different TFA region I need to be in, I'm just happy to know they are in the region I love with the children I love.

Pathetic? Oh Well. I'll Spill My Guts Anyways

I rarely talk about my love life on here. Partly because I think my blog is already giddy-little-girlish enough without talking about boys. But the other part is because there's not much to talk about and I don't want to sound pathetic.

But here's my idea. If I publicize the extent of my patheticness and the far reachingness of my creeperism, it makes both of those things ok. Right? :) Well, correct or not, you're about to read my story.

So I've never really liked a boy that didn't like me back. (I know, I've been lucky, or just conservative with my crushes). This was true until three months ago. Then the rejection began. Don't worry. There was no awkwardness. Just the realization that he doesn't know how AWESOME I am.

Since then, it's been weird. I found out, via facebook (hence the creeperism listed above) and a couple close friends that 1 of my ex-boyfriends is getting married, and 2 are moving in that direction very very quickly. Really? All 3 of these guys wanted to marry me at some point, but for one reason or another things didn't work out and now they all want to marry someone else. Honestly, its normal and that's the way life happens, but it stings a little. And I'm willing to admit that.

I think there's something inside of all of us, that no matter how long its been since we were with someone, there's this need to say "Hey, my life is awesome. And you're not a part of it." Something in us wants to show that we're good without them. We wish them the best, but secretly hope that when we run into them we will be able to say things about our lives that will make them think for a minute. What's that you say? You don't think these things. Oh. Me neither. (Head down in embarrassment).

So I have a confession. You know Miranda who is really independent and has a hard time really letting people in because of it? You know Miranda that loves being single and free? You know Miranda that wants to travel the world, and save the children, and do tons of amazing things? Well, Miranda also has developed a secret desire. I'm embarrassed to say it, but here it is: I think I actually want a relationship and even to get married someday. I don't know why I'm embarrassed. Getting married has always been a part of my plan eventually. Maybe my feminist roots have just dug down too deep.

So there you have it folks, my deepest darkest secret. I want a relationship. And I like a boy. Those words are like vinegar on the tongue, but they're true. I hate that I want this because I feel like I'm turning my back on the things I could do (even though I know being a mom is the best thing I could possibly do). But on a larger, and more shallow scale, I hate it because its typical. And I hate being typical.

So until I have this relationship that I not-so-secretly anymore would like to have, I plan to continue living my single and carefree life (except for the whole grad school and therapist thing).

Shame, you just got attacked! Take that!

Shame Attack!!!

So my old roommate and I are really into these things called shame attacks. Basically, we all have things in life that we are all afraid to do because we fear it will bring embarrassment, awkwardness, disapproval, and feelings of shame. So, to do a shame attack, you participate in the very action which would bring about these feelings. Thus, after doing the action, you learn that not its not as bad as you thought, or it is as bad as you thought, but now you know you can do it. And then you can yell "Shame you just got attacked! Take that!"

I LOVE SHAME ATTACKS.

A couple weeks ago I told a boy I liked him as a shame attack. It was fun.

But here's the deal. The reason why I explain the concept of shame attacks is because, I'm going to use my blog as an opportunity for shame attacks. I'm going to talk about things that I usually would be too afraid to talk about. Get ready to hear some embarrassing stuff. Its gonna be great. And by the end of the summer, hopefully I'll be next to shameless. Like old people in the locker room at the gym. No shame. Let me tell you.

Going Home

Going back to Oakcrest is like going home. Something about it just reminds me of who I really am and who I can be. I just love that place. And I love the people I served and served with while I was there. We had lots of fun on our hike after friends and family night, and we may have gotten lost. It was great. Once again we experienced Oakcrest miracles, and we were only there a few hours.

As soon as I saw last years staff members I started to cry. And a few of them cried when they saw me. It made me happy. I just can't explain the love I feel surrounding Oakcrest!

Here are some pictures from the adventure:

Best Decision Ever

So I am officially moved. And I am quite pleased with my decision. Ok, Ok. Do you want to know what I really think? I'M IN LOVE!!!!!!! But not with a boy. My roommates are great. My complex and ward are great and I'm great. It's wonderful. There have been people hanging out at our place every night since I moved in, my roommates and me stay up late talking (yes sometimes about boys) and there are constantly people in my complex out doing things that you can just join in with. Thus, I am all smiles.

And congrats to me, I reduced my stuff and gave away 3 trash bags to DI. It is a proud day for Miranda.

This is how I currently feel:

My Excitement

Do you remember what I was doing a year ago?

That's right, I was experiencing the best summer of my life at the happiest place on Earth called Oakcrest Girls' Camp.

Guess what June 3rd is. Friends and family night! And last year's staff has a camp out planned for that night. I cannot wait! I'm so excited to see the people I love so much and who I served and taught with. Not that I know, but I would venture to say, this is better than a mission reunion. We get to have a camp fire and stay up late giggling and playing just like the old days. Some days I miss Oakcrest so much it hurts. And literally, I think about it everyday. And I get to have a little taste of it again soon and walk around the grounds that I love so much! Thank you family and friends night!

That Time of Life

This time of life is one of change and growth and excitement. Amidst all of that, comes friends leaving on missions, returning from missions, and getting married and having babies.

It's so weird to see on facebook (of course my source for all social information) that at least 15 people I knew from high school already have kids, and at least 10 are married or engaged. My guy friends are coming home from their missions, and my girl friends are preparing to leave.

Since the end of Oakcrest last summer, 2 of the staff have gotten engaged or married, and 3 of them are leaving for missions in the fall. CRAZY! Its weird to see all of the stuff I've planned for happening around me! I still have a year to wait before my mission plans might come to life (depending on what life has in store for me), but my friends are already doing it. I love it. I'm so excited for all of them. I can't believe we are already here. Woot!

P.S. One of my professors helped in developing this relationship readiness scale for single people. When I took it last night, it said I block myself from really connecting with people (meaning potential romantic partners) because I'm not willing to give up my independence to commit to a relationship. Hehe. Sound about right?

On the Road Again

I'm moving. Again. It seems 8 months is my max in staying in one place. This time it bumped down to 6 months.

So do you remember my biggest reason for coming to BYU for grad school? Well, to refresh your memory, I was so excited to be immature and have fun and be the goofball that has always been inside of me, that was shamed every time it got out. So, when I moved here, instead of doing the things I came here to do, I got into "grad school mode." Being in grad school, and being a therapist made me think for some reason I had to live the "mature" life with quiet, studious roommates, my own room, covered parking, and all the other "perks" you get being "old and mature." I think one of the reasons I chose to live in the past 2 places I've lived is because I was afraid of people who know me in an academic and professional setting, judging me and thinking that living like an undergrad means I'm not serious about what I'm doing.

So about a month ago I thought, WHY? Why do I have to live like an old person? I came to BYU to do something that I haven't been doing. So, better late than never! I'm moving into an apartment with 5 other girls (2 in my room with me), 2 bathrooms, and 1 fridge. The ward will just be my building. And I plan to party it up!

Yes, I am a grad student. Yes, I am a therapist. Yes, I will be teaching a class at BYU in the fall (have I mentioned that yet? SO EXCITING). Yes, I live a life that by all means requires maturity and discipline. But guess what else? I ALSO AM 19 (almost 20)!!!! And its about time I be 19 with people who also want to be 19, and live a home life that consists of silliness and goofiness, and every part of me I have repressed for the past year. I'm stoked.

And in terms of the judgement of others, all the people I have told have responded opposite from what I expected. Usually I get a "It's about time." Only one person has been judgemental, but that's ok, some people just don't value being a kid as much as I do. And there's nothing wrong with that.

So here I go. Into the land of the undergrads! I'll have to give up some luxury. Like a washer and dryer, fridge space, assigned covered parking, and tons of storage space. But hey, I get to learn to use a laundry mat, scrape my windows (except I have remote start--Spoiled, yes), and become a space maximizer/minimalist.
My stuff is what is causing most of my anxiety. I'm going to have to part with a lot of things that I've held onto for a long while. I can get over my greed!!! Its only stuff! I can do this. Does anyone have the number for hoarders anonymous?

The Chinese Disease

My sister went to China a few years ago and when she came back, she had what she termed "the Chinese Disease." This consists of her stomach grumbling all the time, very loudly. Not out of hunger. Just out of talkativeness.
I caught it. That, added to the random body jerks (Tourette), I've been getting some pretty weird looks.

Hi tummy. I know you want attention, but I'm talking to someone right now. Please quiet down and we can play later.

Flying Time

Today my dear friend Bethany moved away. She going to the desert of Arizona. She was the first roommate I had when I moved to Provo a year ago, and we've been friends ever since.

From sleep overs in the living room,

To amazing birthday surprises,

To hundreds of late night outings.

We've had some fun.

Bethany's departure has triggered some reflection on my part. I moved to Provo a year ago, and a year from now, I'll probably be gone. Weird. It's already half way over. How did that happen? 1 year. That's it. That's all I have left. That's nothing! So here's to another year in Provo, and what it will bring. Hopefully it's lots of happiness and sunshine and FUN!

Falling in a River

Yep. I changed things again. I think it better represents the happiness that is oozing out of my heart.

Look at this little duck. He just makes me feel so happy. Have you ever felt like him before? Nervous because you're about to dunk under the water, but excited to try something new. Hesitant to step into the unknown, but with a desire to step into your element. Surprised that the moment of truth came so quickly, but calm that the moment is finally here. Terrified you won't get it right, but with a reassuring voice saying you will.

And then you just jump.

Or the current pulls you in. Either way.

I feel like this everyday to some extent. And I love it. Each day is full of new things, and old for that matter, that are scary but exciting. And sometimes I fail, but some how I always stay afloat and keep kicking my feet. And I make it. And its great.

Sometimes I think, "How on Earth did I get here"? And then I remember the current that has pushed me along, getting me down the stream. Oh, life. How joyous and random and confusing you are. Thanks for the ride.

P.S. Today, I finally found the Pandora station MADE for ME. Dixie Chicks. Don't judge me.

Nooks and Crannies Stick with Us Forever

Today I pulled down my tool box from my closet to get some nails for my roommate. The chair I stood on to reach the toolbox was needed elsewhere so I climbed back up and replaced the toolbox while my roommate still had my nails. When she returned the nails, the toolbox was all the way at the top of my closet and I didn't want to bring the chair back in, so my solution: Throw the box up with a curve so it can get over the ledge and land in the toolbox. I try, I fail. I try, I fail. I try a third time. Again, I fail. However, the third time, instead of the failure consisting of the box landing on the floor or me catching it, the failure consisted of the box OPENING and hundreds of nail raining down on my face. It was awesome.

I began to pick up the nails that landed on the floor. When I looked up I saw some shiny things resting on top of and in between the items of clothing hanging in the closet. So I shook out what I could and picked them up. Then I thought, "I wonder how many nails are still in the nooks and crannies of my clothing. In the folds, the wrinkles and otherwise." Then I thought, "Oh well, when I wear the clothes or move to another apartment they'll get pulled out." Then I thought, "Some of these clothes I may never wear again (let's be honest, we all have a large amount of clothes we never wear) and when I move I just grab full sections of clothes and pile them in the car, they never get separated." So then I thought, "I wonder how many of the nails that are stuck there now, will stay in the crevices of my clothing for years without me knowing it." Then I thought, "I wonder how many things this could apply to. Nails, crumbs, lint, strings, hairs, or anything else our clothing, bedding, books, backpacks or anything else might acquire in the nooks and crannies." We never notice them but we may take them across the country with us, and have them for very long periods of time.

So here's to the nails which may be with me for years to come. I wonder what you've got in your nooks and crannies.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

In case you haven't heard:

MALLORY GOT MARRIED!

Last week was the wedding and reception and Mal and her hubby are already back in Idaho. My big sister is now a wife and I must find a new partner in crime. We are happy to have another Jeff in the family. Welcome my new brother-in-law. I hope you know you just inherited a little-sister-moocher. You've been warned. :)

At the wedding I was humorously made aware that I am the only single one left. We did a sibling picture with the brides family and all was dandy. My brother, two sisters and I all smiled happily.
Then they added the sibling spouses. As one by one the spouses came, I was pushed farther and farther to the side until I wound up on the end all by myself, behind one of my bros-in-law. Of course everyone giggled and they pulled me towards the middle so I didn't look so pitiful on the end. And in the background I heard my brother singing "One of these things is not like the others."

Maybe this should have made me feel bad because of the lack of romantic love in my life. But all I could think was "Suckers! You have to be adults! I still get to do whatever I want!" Not the most meek thing but, being the only single sibling remaining, has kindled the vagabond spark in me. I know eventually someday I'll get married and have a family, and be really happy doing it. But seeing my siblings and many of my good friends take on lifestyles where they now are accountable to spouses and children makes me want to live up my single days! And travel the world and do humanitarian service, and just be free!

As of last Wednesday I am the last original Goldie Girl. There are two current Goldie Girls (my wonderful sister-in-law and me), but of the original 3, I'm the only one left. And for some reason, this gives me the overwhelming desire to RUN from men and be a free free Goldie. And keep the last name that matches my hair so well. Oh, I just never want to grow up!

Woes of a Quality Timer

Have you ever heard of love languages? You know... touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gifts. Well, I'm a quality timer (and a little bit words of affirmation). The intent of sharing this is not to express to you how you can best show love for me (although, might be a perk). My intent is to complain. Imagine for a minute an individual. To this individual, time with other people means a lot. And this individual spends most of their "free time" alone. Sad right? Pity me!

On the plus side, I went home last weekend!!! It was great! AND I'm going home AGAIN 11 days from now. Woot! Saying this just gave me the realization of everything I have to do in 11 days. Yikes!

Life is busy, life is full, life is good.

P.S. I love swing sets, and sunshine, and ice cream.

P.P.S. It's true, girls really do just wanna have fun.

Wishing Well

The other day I reached into my coat pocket and look what I found:

One time, my dad told me that every time we find a penny, it's a little reminder that God is thinking of us. Thanks Dad :)

Mmm...

I love when at the end of a day, you stick your face into a pillow with freshly washed sheets and get a whiff of heaven :)

I Love My Dad

Often these words get stuck in my head:

"I love little baby ducks, and good ol' pickup trucks, and tomatoes on the vine."

And then I think of my dad singing this song in my wonderful childhood years. And I always leave that memory with a smile.

How can we....

Love life when its painful, and it hurts, and you just want things to be happy, and whole, and good?

Because tomorrow is always a new day with great potential for good. And each moment has potential to be brighter than the last. The Lord will put the right people in our life when we need them the most. And there is always a way out of the sadness that tries so hard to surround us. It's just a matter of finding it.

And most of all, when it feels like you matter to no one in the world, sometimes not even yourself... you do. You matter. Who you are makes the biggest difference in the world. Regardless of what messages are being sent to you, from how many sources, not one life of those who know you would be the same without you. You are needed. You are wanted.

You matter.

The Latest in Tourette's

Tics are funny things. They move around the body through out life and change without warning or reason. One year they will be arm tics, the next abs, the next neck, or all at once. The first few years after my Tourette's kicked in I did a lot of facial tics and biceps. The past few years haven't been so bad with shoulder and ab tics, and the occasional neck tic.

Surprise! The past few weeks my tics have moved again. And they are all centered in my lovely head. I'm back to facial tics, and lots of them. And I have some major neck tics. I've never had tics where I've needed to bang the back of my head against something, so that has been a new experience. My poor roommates are probably going to get sick of the banging sound coming from my room. It seems as though the best way to relieve this tic is to sit on my bed with my back to the wall and hit against it. As you might imagine, my neck is tired and my head hurts.

Another surprise! I'm developing vocal tics. It started as an odd whimper and has turned into to some weird grunts and HAs.

On the plus side, my neck is going to get really strong.
So if you see me making faces at you, or hear me whimpering, just know that the dopamine in my brain is having a party. No worries.

Guess What!

It's Thursday and I'm already breathing again. Happy day.

P.S. Tomorrow is interviews for next year's incoming master's applicants. I've been waiting for this day since I was in the same shoes this time last year. Can't wait to meet/torture/comfort/get them excited for the amazing journey grad school/MFT/other paths in life will take them on. Oh to claim experience. It's a good feeling.

Over My Head, Under a Blimp

Have you ever had so much to do you just wanted to release the intensity of the stress somehow? Cry, exercise, have a lot of fun, something? Like somehow you got stuck under a grounded blimp and you just want to exert all your energy to push it off but it's going to take awhile. You love it, but lifting the weight of what you love would be great.

That's me.
But I always remember, when Friday comes, I'll breathe again.

Until then my friends.

I Love...

...that you can learn to love where you are, and not hate it until its over. I love Provo! Can you believe it? Or maybe I just love my life and therefore love the place in which my life resides at this time. Either way, its wonderful!

Disclaimer: This is a very long story. But, if you begin this story, you must read to the end or else, you will not leave happy.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived in Portsmouth, Ohio where she attended college. This little girl's days were filled with magic and happiness and she loved what she was doing and learning. However, even though the little girl was happy in Portsmouth, she dreamed of the day when she would get to go where she had always desired, Provo, Utah. Then one day she found out she would go where she always desired, and do wonderful things at a wonderful graduate school called BYU.

However, when the little girl moved to the wonderous place, her days were no longer filled with happiness and magic. She became sad and questioned everything she had wanted. Why wasn't it like she pictured? Why wasn't it as splendid as she imagined? She strongly disliked where she was. She strongly disliked what she was doing. And she strongly disliked some of the things she was learning. Did she pick the wrong career choice, or was something else at work?

For weeks the little girl tried to find the answer and sought happiness in all the places she had found it before in her life. But alas, no luck.

Then, one day, the little girl decided that she did not want to spend her days in Provo buying her time until she could leave as had been done in Portsmouth. She wanted to enjoy every minute of the experience and be so happy along the way. She wanted her life in Provo to be everything she had imagined it to be. So she worked very hard with a very important, yet unseen person in her life to know what to do. And guess what the result was. Lots and lots of SMILES and LOVE and HAPPINESS!!!!

The little girl's days again were filled with magic and wonder, and this time is was more magic and wonder than she had ever before experienced. Day after day more and more things fell into place and the little girl's path was laid before her. Without the each step clearly visible, she joyfully skipped down this path with flowers and sunshine all around.

I have been so blessed that things have turned around for me. Nothing has really changed in my circumstances. I'm still in the same program. I moved, but not far, and nothing is profoundly different about that. I'm still a student. I'm still giving therapy. Pretty much everything is the same. But things are happy now.

Want to know the secret? What has made the profound difference is the quality of my relationship with my Heavenly Father and the quality of my relationship with myself. I do not announce this to the world by any means to say how great or spiritual I am. I say it so you can know the fastest way to happiness that I have found. And you're welcome to steal my happiness finding techniques. In fact, please do.

A friend of mine once gave me some advice to ask the Lord for the greatest blessing He desires to give me right now. At the time, I didn't do what my friend had said, but this past week I got the feeling that I should. Not knowing what this gift might be, I asked for it. I didn't know what it was, but I knew it would come. Today, I was prompted to ask what it was, I did, and I was given the answer. You'll never guess. It was HAPPINESS!!!! The greatest gift my Heavenly Father has to give me right now, is me being happy where I am and with what I am doing RIGHT NOW. Not just in what the future holds. What a great blessing :)

Happy Sabbath!!!

Run, Run, As Fast As You Can!

I'm running a 1/2 marathon!!! I wasn't planning on announcing that in case I don't make it past the finish line. But, I have a reason for bringing it up. Sarah June, a friend of mine from my program, and I are running for the Tourette Syndrome Association and we're hoping to raise money for research and education programs. If you would be willing to donate, go here, and be my hero.
The race is May 7th so we have until then to raise $1000. Just think, maybe some day I'll be tic free and I'll be able to thank you because you helped find a cure.

Say What?

I went to the grocery story a few days ago and ran into this guy: I still have no idea what it is. But I love it.

Fall, Fall, Fall

Fall was full of lots of firsts for me. Including:

My first semester at BYU

My first time seeing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir live

My first client

My first prank at BYU

My first Oakcrestie mission farewell (where I got to see these beautiful ladies)

My first BYU Creamery banana split (and my last)

My first getting asked to homecoming in an awesome way

There were a ton of names on the back, but when I washed it, this appeared:
My first acceptance of being asked to homecoming in an amazingly cool way
If you can't tell these are a ton of letters which when arranged spell out, "You're Mr. Wright for homecoming night" (his last name is Wright. Clever, wright? :))

It's been a fun semester. But, if you know me better than a distant acquaintance, you know I've really struggled this semester. Struggled with adjusting to Provo life, post-Oakcrest life, grad school life, and crazy Tourette's attack life(although this wasn't new, but in a new situation). I have had a really hard time being happy. It's probably been the most personally/emotionally/spiritually challenging 4 months I've had yet in my young life.

BUT! This semester I am determined to have an amazing, fulfilling, HAPPY time! My motivation came out of hiding and I feel lighter. I'm in a new house, and a new ward and I'm ready for the semester and my renewed strength. I feel great! It's going to be a wonderful semester. Get ready folks, cause the happiness is already oozing out of me once again. I'm back baby!

P.S. I L-O-V-E my new ward. They're just my type. Me=So happy :)

Dear 2010, You're Over

I'm a couple days late but I thought this year demands reviewing for the eventfulness it contained. In 2010 I:

-Interned for Scioto County Juvenile Court
-Interviewed for grad school at BYU
-Got into grad school at BYU
-Interviewed for OAKCREST
-Got into OAKCREST
-Got the Psychology Major of the Year Award (not to brag or anything)
-Graduated college
-Was given a new car by my awesome parents
-Moved to Provo
-Served my heart out for 10 weeks in the most wonderful place on Earth AKA Oakcrest
-Started grad school
-Moved within Provo
-Survived my first semester of grad school
-Started seeing clients (yea, I give therapy! Can you believe it?)
-Had the most heart wrenching moments and moments of despair I've ever had in my life
-Had the most joyful, uplifting, hopeful, happy, and sacred moments of my life

It's been an unbelievable year. A year ago I was planning and hoping to do almost all the things on this list, but I had no idea the journey these things would take me on. The ups and downs, the highs and lows, the love and the pain, the amazing friendships I've developed, the hearts I've touched, and more importantly the hearts that have touched mine. This sounds a little extreme but this year was extreme for me. I had no idea what it would be. But looking back, I love what 2010 has taught me and made me.

Here's to a great 2011!