I Can't Take It Anymore!

I put my mission papers in a week ago. Judging by when a few of my friends have gotten their calls I should get my call on Wednesday. LONGEST WEEK AND A HALF OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!! I think about it all day. I dream about it at night. There's no escape. 

 

If it doesn't come on Wednesday, I'm gonna lose it. Go totally bonkers. I'm not sure if this madness filling up inside of me is excitement, or fear, or doubt, or joy, or nerves, or what! All I know is I need to throw up pretty much all the time. I know, TMI. 

Wednesday. 3 days. I can do it. 

Everyone Needs to See This

I found this today. And I love it. 

Tender Mercies

For some reason I have developed this weird habit of storing important pictures on flash drives. I don't know why I do it. I just always have since high school.

I had a flash drive that was devoted to my Oakcrest 2010 pictures. One day about 8 months ago I was looking for this flash drive and could not find it anywhere. Knowing that this had all my pictures from one of the most important experiences of my life on it, I cried. I thought it was lost forever. I knelt in prayer asking/pleading/more of begging Heavenly Father to help me find my ever so important flash drive with pictures of all of my children (children meaning campers) on it. I believe I said the words "PLEASE! Just let it turn up SOMEWHERE! ANYWHERE! As long as I know where it is."

I continued looking and no luck.

About 3 days later my roommate got an email from a missionary in Belgium who she had recently sent a package to. The email asked why she sent him a flash drive with pictures of girls at some camp on it. Belgium! What are the chances?! I guess somehow it fell into the package or something. It definitely showed up SOMEWHERE.

Over the past months my roommate has asked him about this flash drive and we've heard no other word on the matter. Until a few weeks ago. HE STILL HAS IT!!! He just needs an address to send it to. I could not be more grateful. Pictures are one of those things I would protect with my life! Maybe not my life. But they mean a lot to me.

Sunshine Reminds Me Of...

It is so nice outside!!! It is wonderful. This weather gets me excited. But not for the reason you might think. Yes, it means I get to play outside all day long which is exciting. But more than that, it means a new adventure is beginning. Whenever summer weather begins it means the end of one section of a chapter and the beginning of another. And for me, this year it is the beginning of the last few paragraphs of a chapter that is closing. And that means the end of my time in Provo and at BYU.

Goodbyes are a long process for me (can you tell? After all I am already thinking about it and I still have 3 months of school left). They are long and sad, but I am really good at goodbyes. When the fact that I am leaving a part of my life sets in, I am sad and I know that I will miss what I am leaving. But as soon as I leave it behind, I am excited and ready for the next adventure. There is little dwindling or pining for what once was or missing what I once had. When I left Portsmouth 2 years ago, it was a sad moment. It was like I was leaving a part of me behind. I had my day of reverence for that beautiful place that changed my life, but the next I was ready to be on the road to Utah!

I am finishing seeing clients and I am in the last semester of actual classes. My time is ending. But when this phase of my life is over, I'm going to Oakcrest! And then I'm going on a mission! What more could I ask for?!

This goodbye is not as hard as others have been (not yet at least). The past two years have by far been the hardest of my life. My soul has been shaken several times. The things I thought would always be constant in my life amidst an ever changing world, I let go of. It has not been pretty. But, of course everything works out in the end. And among the very low points were shining and ever bright high points. And I want to remember every bit of it. Good. Bad. All. It has been two years of becoming.

Now I get to finish out the grad school phase with a bang! Live up having LDS roommates that are my age (which I will probably never have again) and all the goofy and fun things BYU Mormon culture has to offer. I am one luck girl. Sometimes the shadows of life come and block our view of the glorious road just beyond the shadow. But guess what. My shadow is gone, and I'm moving forward to a beautiful mountain.
Literally, the mountains of Kamas, UT where I will spend my summer

P.S. WE HAVE A STAFF FOR OAKCREST!!!!!!!!!!! We hired most of our fantastic staff over the weekend and I cannot wait to meet all of them again and have an amazing summer with them!

Meet My Valentine...

To all those who seem to be confused by the prolonged nature if my singleness: I feel the need to assure you that I do interact with men.

In fact, I will tell my latest love story. Last fall I was riding the bus in good old Provo and a man got on. Yes a real live man. He came and sat across the aisle. The man started chatting with the guy in front of me, but it was obvious he was just too nervous to talk to me directly. Finally he got up the courage and conversation sparked between us. He then proceeded to tell me his life story and how he was throwing a benefit concert for the Children's Hospital. I didn't believe him but I went along with it. Then he handed me this:I asked who the performer was and he said it was him! Check out this hunk!

So I knew from the start, he was different. Match made in heaven?

I think yes! He may have been 45, homeless, crazy, and had a voice that sounded like the cookie monster, but it was love at first sight. Why would I want a boyfriend when I can have interactions like this!? I hope my mom approves!

I'm A Big Kid Now

Last week I did something that I have been too terrified to do thus far in my life.

I went out to dinner.

By myself.
On a Friday night.
At a sit down restaurant.

With a waiter.

And people at other tables.
But not at mine.
It was a proud moment.

I won't lie, it was uncomfortable. But I played it cool. Like a classy girl in a cafe who enjoys just hanging out with herself. I did use my journal as a buffer though. I sat and wrote like a mad woman. I think the waiter was more uncomfortable with it than I was. He kept coming up to me while I was eating just to chat. I think so I wouldn't be lonely. But I was perfectly content to just sit and enjoy my time. Shame attack! I'm a grown up. Next up, going dancing alone. It might be a while before I get that much gumption though.

My Dreams

Things are rolling.

Oakcrest is going great! We start interviewing the staff tomorrow. It is hard to keep my excitement under control. I cannot wait to spend my summer in my home away from home.

School is school. I'm just finishing up, but it's hard to find motivation when I'm so close to the end! But let's be honest, it was hard to be motivated at the beginning because you have to first get used to things, then in the middle there's the half way lull, and now I'm near the end. So really, I've done no actual work for the past two years. But somehow I've made it through. My explanation:
Fairies.

Now to the new big dreams I have.
I want to go to Israel. Jerusalem specifically. I want to see and walk in the places I've only read about and seen pictures.
The problem. I can't find anyone with the time or money to go. I want to go in May before Oakcrest starts. I could go by myself, but being a young girl, I'd rather not get kidnapped or killed. Thus, I opt to use the buddy system when traveling out of the country. So,
Do you want to go to Israel? You should come. With me. In May. Or if you know anyone who could or would go, let's be friends.