Best Decision Ever

So I am officially moved. And I am quite pleased with my decision. Ok, Ok. Do you want to know what I really think? I'M IN LOVE!!!!!!! But not with a boy. My roommates are great. My complex and ward are great and I'm great. It's wonderful. There have been people hanging out at our place every night since I moved in, my roommates and me stay up late talking (yes sometimes about boys) and there are constantly people in my complex out doing things that you can just join in with. Thus, I am all smiles.

And congrats to me, I reduced my stuff and gave away 3 trash bags to DI. It is a proud day for Miranda.

This is how I currently feel:

My Excitement

Do you remember what I was doing a year ago?

That's right, I was experiencing the best summer of my life at the happiest place on Earth called Oakcrest Girls' Camp.

Guess what June 3rd is. Friends and family night! And last year's staff has a camp out planned for that night. I cannot wait! I'm so excited to see the people I love so much and who I served and taught with. Not that I know, but I would venture to say, this is better than a mission reunion. We get to have a camp fire and stay up late giggling and playing just like the old days. Some days I miss Oakcrest so much it hurts. And literally, I think about it everyday. And I get to have a little taste of it again soon and walk around the grounds that I love so much! Thank you family and friends night!

That Time of Life

This time of life is one of change and growth and excitement. Amidst all of that, comes friends leaving on missions, returning from missions, and getting married and having babies.

It's so weird to see on facebook (of course my source for all social information) that at least 15 people I knew from high school already have kids, and at least 10 are married or engaged. My guy friends are coming home from their missions, and my girl friends are preparing to leave.

Since the end of Oakcrest last summer, 2 of the staff have gotten engaged or married, and 3 of them are leaving for missions in the fall. CRAZY! Its weird to see all of the stuff I've planned for happening around me! I still have a year to wait before my mission plans might come to life (depending on what life has in store for me), but my friends are already doing it. I love it. I'm so excited for all of them. I can't believe we are already here. Woot!

P.S. One of my professors helped in developing this relationship readiness scale for single people. When I took it last night, it said I block myself from really connecting with people (meaning potential romantic partners) because I'm not willing to give up my independence to commit to a relationship. Hehe. Sound about right?

On the Road Again

I'm moving. Again. It seems 8 months is my max in staying in one place. This time it bumped down to 6 months.

So do you remember my biggest reason for coming to BYU for grad school? Well, to refresh your memory, I was so excited to be immature and have fun and be the goofball that has always been inside of me, that was shamed every time it got out. So, when I moved here, instead of doing the things I came here to do, I got into "grad school mode." Being in grad school, and being a therapist made me think for some reason I had to live the "mature" life with quiet, studious roommates, my own room, covered parking, and all the other "perks" you get being "old and mature." I think one of the reasons I chose to live in the past 2 places I've lived is because I was afraid of people who know me in an academic and professional setting, judging me and thinking that living like an undergrad means I'm not serious about what I'm doing.

So about a month ago I thought, WHY? Why do I have to live like an old person? I came to BYU to do something that I haven't been doing. So, better late than never! I'm moving into an apartment with 5 other girls (2 in my room with me), 2 bathrooms, and 1 fridge. The ward will just be my building. And I plan to party it up!

Yes, I am a grad student. Yes, I am a therapist. Yes, I will be teaching a class at BYU in the fall (have I mentioned that yet? SO EXCITING). Yes, I live a life that by all means requires maturity and discipline. But guess what else? I ALSO AM 19 (almost 20)!!!! And its about time I be 19 with people who also want to be 19, and live a home life that consists of silliness and goofiness, and every part of me I have repressed for the past year. I'm stoked.

And in terms of the judgement of others, all the people I have told have responded opposite from what I expected. Usually I get a "It's about time." Only one person has been judgemental, but that's ok, some people just don't value being a kid as much as I do. And there's nothing wrong with that.

So here I go. Into the land of the undergrads! I'll have to give up some luxury. Like a washer and dryer, fridge space, assigned covered parking, and tons of storage space. But hey, I get to learn to use a laundry mat, scrape my windows (except I have remote start--Spoiled, yes), and become a space maximizer/minimalist.
My stuff is what is causing most of my anxiety. I'm going to have to part with a lot of things that I've held onto for a long while. I can get over my greed!!! Its only stuff! I can do this. Does anyone have the number for hoarders anonymous?

The Chinese Disease

My sister went to China a few years ago and when she came back, she had what she termed "the Chinese Disease." This consists of her stomach grumbling all the time, very loudly. Not out of hunger. Just out of talkativeness.
I caught it. That, added to the random body jerks (Tourette), I've been getting some pretty weird looks.

Hi tummy. I know you want attention, but I'm talking to someone right now. Please quiet down and we can play later.

Flying Time

Today my dear friend Bethany moved away. She going to the desert of Arizona. She was the first roommate I had when I moved to Provo a year ago, and we've been friends ever since.

From sleep overs in the living room,

To amazing birthday surprises,

To hundreds of late night outings.

We've had some fun.

Bethany's departure has triggered some reflection on my part. I moved to Provo a year ago, and a year from now, I'll probably be gone. Weird. It's already half way over. How did that happen? 1 year. That's it. That's all I have left. That's nothing! So here's to another year in Provo, and what it will bring. Hopefully it's lots of happiness and sunshine and FUN!

Falling in a River

Yep. I changed things again. I think it better represents the happiness that is oozing out of my heart.

Look at this little duck. He just makes me feel so happy. Have you ever felt like him before? Nervous because you're about to dunk under the water, but excited to try something new. Hesitant to step into the unknown, but with a desire to step into your element. Surprised that the moment of truth came so quickly, but calm that the moment is finally here. Terrified you won't get it right, but with a reassuring voice saying you will.

And then you just jump.

Or the current pulls you in. Either way.

I feel like this everyday to some extent. And I love it. Each day is full of new things, and old for that matter, that are scary but exciting. And sometimes I fail, but some how I always stay afloat and keep kicking my feet. And I make it. And its great.

Sometimes I think, "How on Earth did I get here"? And then I remember the current that has pushed me along, getting me down the stream. Oh, life. How joyous and random and confusing you are. Thanks for the ride.

P.S. Today, I finally found the Pandora station MADE for ME. Dixie Chicks. Don't judge me.